Doubt sets in

I have felt a little bit lost of late, creatively speaking. Musically I feel spent and somewhat abandoned. Solace seems to be coming from my Secret Poet project which excites me but deep down I know it is not the ideal way forward. Thinking I could fit in with the cabaret set was perhaps a misguided notion. Sure I am capable of a certain degree of glamour but my act isn’t even a proper act and it’s entertainment value or wow factor is perhaps non-existent. This became clear to me as I took to the stage as Anna for the first time. As fun as it was I always tend to be my harshest critic and like with my music performances I believe I may have been the least interesting item on the menu. I’m not sure how I can enliven it as jokes and banter are not especially easy for me. I did consider early on in the planning process that I could end on a song. Be it an extremely random cover version or some funny little ditty I have yet to compose. Having spoken with my wife and another friend I’ve came to realise that I rushed my performance. That’s normal I guess – I always remember the very first gig I did with my band when I was 17. We did our half hour set in 20 mins!

I have another week to prepare for it and at least this time I have more poems to choose from so I can be picky. I wish I had more like ‘Stuck in a dress’. It was pointed out to me that that is my pivotal work ie the one that goes the best with my image. I’m a guy getting stuck in a dress and isn’t it usually women who get stuck in dresses…oh the hilarity. Most of the other poems could be told without the hair and make-up as my normal self but not that one. I should think about it more over the next while.

I’m really looking forward to the gig as it’ll be a chance to hang out as Anna in a cool place with arty and open-minded people. In the back of my mind I’m also planning to get to take some pictures (posed of course) whilst there. Sick of taking the same pictures in the house so the Art School should provide a good opportunity for that. I took some new photos last weekend actually and some of them were rather good. Here they are below, the red dress and the blue dress are new purchases. Both from charity shops – I can’t resist a bargain 🙂

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These outfits are older but I was able to still find ways of enjoying them. For this part of the session I donned a trusty waist cincher and hip padding to lend a more feminine shape. It’s required especially for the sake of the bodycon dress which just goes up and down on my manly frame.

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11 thoughts on “Doubt sets in

  1. Isabella Belucci

    I seem to remember Eddie Izzard making a go of it. But I can’t remember if he actually dressed, or just did the makeup. He did have bits that referred to it but his whole show didn’t revolve around it. Just saying you have that one terrific song… your other poems don’t necessarily have to consider your clothing but can be about whatever moves you. You’ll work your act out, love, that’s what being a performer is about, isn’t it. The struggle to be unique.

    Reply
    1. Anna Secret Poet Post author

      Thank you for your kind words! I can be a bit of a doom merchant at times so I can. I think I’m mainly bummed out about not having another outing planned after this one. I really need another girls night out, that’ll sort me 😄 Big digital kisses for you 💋💋💋

      Reply
  2. DaisyWillows

    WOW! Anna soem seriously seductive poses- second to last one is one of mu faves. I love the blue print dress it looks gorgeous. It takes practice to be good at stuff. Doubt is one of my biggest ways to shut down my creativity. Just enjoy your self xxx

    Reply
    1. Anna Secret Poet Post author

      Thank you, you’re very kind to say so! I know I’m really silly to think like that but I’m glad I wrote it down as it has made me feel better. I’m definity going to give enjoying myself a try lol 😄 I hope you’re having a suitably awesome weekend X

      Reply
  3. meganmilesauthor

    Remember, whatever we do creatively, our inner critic forever lies in wait–looking for an opportunity to shut us down. We all have that voice. Just keep going, keep expressing and realize there is nobody like you!! Everyone deserves chance to shine ❤

    Reply
    1. Anna Secret Poet Post author

      Thank you for your kind words! I also got a lovely wee some message from one of my fellow performers saying something similar. I’m getting excited for Monday but sad because I’ve nothing else on the horizon xxx

      Reply

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