I’m convinced I’m getting worse at titling these posts, never mind running out of stuff to post about. At the moment the two things at the forefront of my mind (and hence of diary-esque potential) are my next two gigs. One’s a cabaret and it’s an awesome line-up. By rights I should be incredibly nervous sharing the stage with this particular bunch – and I am. I still haven’t had a proper practice yet and I have a week and a half to go (!) but at least I’ve sorted the look and outfit 😄
For this first gig I’m going to go for a more cute look. Green skater skirt, black short sleeve top and red hair. This is one I’ve already worn before but in the comfort of my own home.
These pictures have appeared in a previous post but here they are the modified and filtered Instagram equivalents. Really brings out the ginger and green. Basically I wanted to look a bit more playful this time round and less austere from the first two gigs.
For the one after that I’m playing a night called ‘Queer Theory’ and I’m a bit more excited by that as I have less an idea what it will be like. The outfit I have chosen for that is one of my favourite skirts teamed with a grey v-neck sweater that my wife gave me recently.
It is very possible I could change my mind at the last minute but at the moment I’m set on this.
Outfit chosen I took the opportunity to try a couple of other things out while I was at it. Just a couple of other tops I came into possession of.
Annoyingly I managed to tear a bit of the above top when trying it on, forgetting I was meant to be a graceful lady ha ha!
I have felt a little bit lost of late, creatively speaking. Musically I feel spent and somewhat abandoned. Solace seems to be coming from my Secret Poet project which excites me but deep down I know it is not the ideal way forward. Thinking I could fit in with the cabaret set was perhaps a misguided notion. Sure I am capable of a certain degree of glamour but my act isn’t even a proper act and it’s entertainment value or wow factor is perhaps non-existent. This became clear to me as I took to the stage as Anna for the first time. As fun as it was I always tend to be my harshest critic and like with my music performances I believe I may have been the least interesting item on the menu. I’m not sure how I can enliven it as jokes and banter are not especially easy for me. I did consider early on in the planning process that I could end on a song. Be it an extremely random cover version or some funny little ditty I have yet to compose. Having spoken with my wife and another friend I’ve came to realise that I rushed my performance. That’s normal I guess – I always remember the very first gig I did with my band when I was 17. We did our half hour set in 20 mins!
I have another week to prepare for it and at least this time I have more poems to choose from so I can be picky. I wish I had more like ‘Stuck in a dress’. It was pointed out to me that that is my pivotal work ie the one that goes the best with my image. I’m a guy getting stuck in a dress and isn’t it usually women who get stuck in dresses…oh the hilarity. Most of the other poems could be told without the hair and make-up as my normal self but not that one. I should think about it more over the next while.
I’m really looking forward to the gig as it’ll be a chance to hang out as Anna in a cool place with arty and open-minded people. In the back of my mind I’m also planning to get to take some pictures (posed of course) whilst there. Sick of taking the same pictures in the house so the Art School should provide a good opportunity for that. I took some new photos last weekend actually and some of them were rather good. Here they are below, the red dress and the blue dress are new purchases. Both from charity shops – I can’t resist a bargain 🙂
These outfits are older but I was able to still find ways of enjoying them. For this part of the session I donned a trusty waist cincher and hip padding to lend a more feminine shape. It’s required especially for the sake of the bodycon dress which just goes up and down on my manly frame.
Yesterday my cover was almost blown, it was a very close one indeed! As you may know I had started an Instagram a few weeks back to try it out. It went rather well as it happens and through it I began to make some fab new connections plus bumping into a few familiar faces. Great fun indeed and over 3 weeks I’d managed to build up a bit of a following – just under 500 which is superb for such a short space of time. It eventually crashed down though yesterday morning…
…I had been having problems with my phone. You know when you’re clicking on things and nothing’s happening? At the time I was uploading a pic on Instagram before heading off to work. It is entirely possible I clicked on something I perhaps shouldn’t have. My phone complied in time and I headed out. On the journey I noticed I had some new follower notifications from people I actually knew. They were people who know about the Anna thing so I thought nothing of it. On my morning tea break I took a frantic call from my wife to say she’d had a notification that (insert male name) was on Instagram as Anna Blair and was inviting her to join him there! Panic set in and it seemed the only course of action was to delete the whole thing there and then 😦
I hated myself at first but reasoning won. In truth most of my Facebook friends who have one are arty types and would have got it but there are some close family members who definitely would not have. I will make another one but I know it won’t be the same at all. If I follow the same people back they’ll likely just ignore me knowing my luck. It’s crap starting from scratch.
I don’t want to end on a downer so I’ll share another pic from last weekend (pretty sure I didn’t put this up already). Have a good one when it comes X
I really want to share one of my new poems with you. It was only written a week ago but I’m really pleased with it so when a chance to dress up and film some came up it was included. I call it ‘Mobile Phonies’ and it’s about that modern day problem, you know the one I mean!
Next time a poem is lucky enough to be filmed I plan to make it more dynamic with editing and everything. I acquired a new software the other day and it’s a lot more user-friendly than the one I used to use. I need to make it more of a video as I guess static shot videos are harder to concentrate on these days.
I also came to the realisation that the 6th (or was it the 7th?) of March was the anniversary of Anna’s first night out. The original post documenting it can be found here https://annasecretpoet.wordpress.com/2015/03/08/annas-alive/ . Since then I’ve technically only managed one other and that was under the guise of a gig. I quite fancy another one at some point as I’m not sure I was sufficiently relaxed enough to enjoy the previous two. Watch this space! Upon pondering this I happened upon a little verse I wrote on the day of the first outing that I had completely forgotten about. It is untitled and I think I wrote it during my lunchbreak that day.
Senses sharpened I open my eyes Thoughts turn to My iminent disguise Will I be accepted? Will anyone care? I must have thought it over Several times Every few days I would change my mind A nice skirt and top Or my red houndtooth dress I never anticipated This trivial stress I don’t want to out-femme My partner in crime But I do want to have An outrageous time Maybe make some new friends Outwith my comfort zone ‘Cause before I know it I’ll be on the bus home
I’ve got a little time to also share a few photos from my little video shoot on Saturday night. I hope to have some gig news for the next time fingers crossed. Until then, take care X