Tag Archives: ginger

Sexy as a Toaster

Online comments can be very strange and I do get my fair share. Some really nice ones and downright evil ones! I wrote a poem inspired by one that was left on a picture on Facebook last night which simply said “Sexy as a toaster”. Now what on earth does that mean? I couldn’t decide if it was derogatory or not but I had a good old chuckle at it and before I knew it…


‘Sexy as a Toaster’

I’ve known some hot kitchen goods in my time

I once had an oven that blew my mind

And a frying pan that never quit

When I cracked a sexy egg in it

And don’t get me started on my fridge

What a sassy big bugger it is!

Teasingly cold and playfully solid

I’m sad when he’s empty – I feel plain horrid

 

My washing machine also rocks

It has me in a spin plus it gives me clean socks

I’ve never had a dishwasher – that’s like whoring out my plates

I caress each one individually in spite of the jealousy that creates

The kettle also does it for me every time without fail

Its steam is as mysterious as a bridal veil

But on the microwave I’m not so keen

I’ve never known a smugger machine!

 

In my mind there is no doubt who will reign supreme

The toaster is probably my wettest dream

Hotter than Racquel Welch or indeed the sun

I know exactly where I’m parking my bun(s)

Come bask in the warmth of its bready glow

Melts me like butter I’d like you to know

‘Am I as sexy as a toaster?’ I coyly request

I suppose I’ll never know but I could hazard a guess

Sarcastic Kiss

Let me take up paper and write of forests

Leafy memories of varied significance

The purged sanctuaries and sacred hollows

Naked and exposed,

Let me close my eyes to see it fully

Lips pursed in a sarcastic kiss

Instantly thoughts jostle for position

Drowning out the icy wind,

Let me make an error to fix a mistake

Regretting regrets is my new favourite passtime

For all the forward thinking I can muster

The backward pull is always stronger

Happy to be Red again!

I managed to get a little session last night to try some outfits and most excitingly a new wig which arrived that morning! It’s one I’ve been watching on eBay on and off for ages but finally cracked and bought earlier in the week.

Also I was looking forward to taking pictures with my good camera. Before I shaved and got changed I set it up in the bedroom and locked it off so I could do some male to female side by side shots. They turned out okay but because of the bed sheets it’s hard to match up the 2 images perfectly on my wee phone app.

I wish I’d spent a bit more time on it but I had to crack on with the other stuff I had planned. It was decided I’d make the most of my time and do a few different things I could keep on ice to release at later dates so as not to overshare.

The skirt isn’t new but given the volume of skirtage in my wardrobe some inevitably fall by the weyside. The next outfit was my favourite and the one I kept on for the longest (mainly due to having to recharge the camera battery and then having to wait to start again!).

I like that last one, I think I know how to sit down better than posing vertically!

The last look of the evening was a charity shop find from a few weeks back. Very smart it is too 🙂

As I mentioned earlier I did other things too like filmed a couple of the more recent poems and took some other photos which I may find another post for.

Earlier this morning I found out that the venue my next scheduled gig was to take place at is closing for good tonight. ‘Rockus’ in Finnieston Very sad as it was a really cool little place I could have got to know a lot better over the coming months. It means my next gig is the Extra Second night at The Blue Chair cafè, a themed poetry and spoken word night. This one is all about Drugs. I’ve nearly finished the piece I’m going to read and I’ll no doubt share it on this page once I’m sure it’s finished.

xxx

Rebirth of a Smile

How fast a smile can disappear
Trace a backwards course from ear to ear
Eyes cast downwards the lament begins
Played on the worlds smallest violin

Tread softly lest eggshells be crushed
Or over the edge you’ll be pushed
Spiralling silently into the void
At the very least you must be annoyed

Where did that pesky smile go?
Don’t ask us cos we don’t know
You may never find it wherever you land
So make a new one – draw up a plan!

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Going For Cute

I’m convinced I’m getting worse at titling these posts, never mind running out of stuff to post about. At the moment the two things at the forefront of my mind (and hence of diary-esque potential) are my next two gigs. One’s a cabaret and it’s an awesome line-up. By rights I should be incredibly nervous sharing the stage with this particular bunch – and I am. I still haven’t had a proper practice yet and I have a week and a half to go (!) but at least I’ve sorted the look and outfit 😄

For this first gig I’m going to go for a more cute look. Green skater skirt, black short sleeve top and red hair. This is one I’ve already worn before but in the comfort of my own home.

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These pictures have appeared in a previous post but here they are the modified and filtered Instagram equivalents. Really brings out the ginger and green. Basically I wanted to look a bit more playful this time round and less austere from the first two gigs.

For the one after that I’m playing a night called ‘Queer Theory’ and I’m a bit more excited by that as I have less an idea what it will be like. The outfit I have chosen for that is one of my favourite skirts teamed with a grey v-neck sweater that my wife gave me recently.

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It is very possible I could change my mind at the last minute but at the moment I’m set on this.

Outfit chosen I took the opportunity to try a couple of other things out while I was at it. Just a couple of other tops I came into possession of.

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Annoyingly I managed to tear a bit of the above top when trying it on, forgetting I was meant to be a graceful lady ha ha!