Tag Archives: girls like us

Goodbye 2017

I’ll let you into a little secret…I blog in the bath! Have done for nearly 3 years 😄 It’s the only place I can feel sure to get an hour or so to blog undisturbed. Today is no exception – sorry about the mental image!

This will be my last post this year. I have been neglecting my page of late, partially as I feel the posts may become repetitive. My outings are mainly to my own shows and there aren’t always funny or notable tales to relate about them bar showing you what I wore or telling you who I played with. I counted a total of 38 Anna Secret Poet shows this year – it was 25 in 2016. That’s rather good I think. I’ve came a long way from skulking about the house for years yearning to cross the threshold and I’m so glad I finally did. Firsts this year include;

Anna travelling from Glasgow to Edinburgh by train plus wondering about the capital and sitting in a cafe to order food

Anna travelling from my home to town by bus (or getting on a bus in general, now I don’t use a ticket with photo ID 😉)

Being touched inappropriately by someone taking photos at a show at McChuills who then never shared them…

There are probably more to list but at the moment that’s all I can think of. Making a lot of new friends and contacts is definitely the best thing. It has been a while since I last asked (well, begged) for a gig. More often than not they’re offered to me these days and I very rarely turn them down without good reason. Usually that reason is down to it being short notice like the last 2 I declined. There waa something like a couple of hours before commencement. That’s a shame but it was probably for the best.

I’ll always remember my first night out back in March 2015 Anna’s Alive. I organised it with a couple of friends from work and only one of them ended up coming. A lady callef Andy. I was good friends with her but lost contact with her a mere fortnight afterwards. She never returned my messages and a year later I had learned she’d died. Murdered by her controlling partner. That still makes me very sad and I doubt if I’ll ever get over that fully. As a tribute to her I regularly sing the song we wrote together ‘Bonus Sausage‘. I reckon she’d be very tickled to see that go down well like it usually does. She never got to see Anna in action.

At the beginning of December I took part in a photoshoot at the Britannia Panopticon with a host of other drag queens and kings. It was for DragOpticon promotional purposes and I only just received my individual shots the other day. The group shots will hopefully be unveiled at a later date. They were taken by the infinitely awesome Debbie McCall AKA Galactic Carnival.

I took some photos myself backstage which I shall share presently. It was a busy day for me that day actually. After the photoshoot I changed into a different outfit and hotfooted it to the underground to visit John and Tricia from the Well Happy Band as we had a gig in Edinburgh that night. That was also Anna’s first time on the tube too. Boy it warm down there 😄

I changed back into polka dots before heading to Edinburgh. It was a great gig actually – the crowd were well up for it! Martin Windebank took a snap or two of me inbetween setting up. I was well photographed that day for sure.

The next day I found some time to try on a couple of new dresses I’d gotten recently. One ended up being one of my most liked photos on Instagram and the other one takes me into another dimension!

The next gig was Dr Sketchy’s 10th Birthday. I just sang a couple of songs at that whilst some of the girls were posing. It was great fun and I went tartan at that again. There was official photography taking place but I doubt I’ll ever see any of that.

Next show was at the Flying Duck supporting Scunner and Spread Eagle. That was a great night! It’s always great to hang out with Paul Puppet and I’m grateful for being asked along. I did a whole set with backing tracks this time and went down a storm 😊

Last gig of the year was a spectacular one! The Colonel Mustard Xmas Disco Ball at St Lukes in Glasgow, an old church renovated into a venue and restaurant. Beautiful it was. It was an all day event – the doors opened around 1pm I think. I was to be on early in the afternoon as part of the Spangled Cabaret segment before the bands went on. 

This is how I looked!

This is me posing with Colonel Mustard and his kids. Just before the photo was taken by the Dijancer he’d told his kids that I was coming home to be their new mother haha! 😄

I had problems getting my backing tracks to work but hobbled through anyway and received a great reception. The evening did go downhill on a personal level however…

…I drank too much I’m ashamed to say. You’d think I’d know my limits by now! I was sick all down my Star Trek dress and slipped away without saying goodbye out of sheer embarrassment. I was on a bus home by 8pm and I awoke in the morning to discover I didn’t have my handbag. I had lost it somehow between the venue and getting it home. My money, bankcards and hairbrush were all in there. What a pisser. Still not heard back from the venue so I’ve written it off. My pal Margaret said that losing your handbag at Christmas is a rite of passage for any woman so I’m looking at it like that. Lesson learned hopefully!

I already have 5 possibly 6 shows planned already next year and I can’t wait to get stuck into them. I hope you all have a fun and prosperous 2018! Cheers 💋💋💋

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Marching to April

Clip clop clip clop I go!

It’s been a busy bunch of weeks since my last entry. My Shoggoth appearance was good fun. That was a cabaret put on by Gabriel Featherstone as part of the Glasgow Comedy Festival and also featured The Creative Martyrs, Tootsie Annie, Markee De Saw, Jim the Hobbit and Gabriel himself. It was sparsely attended but I would call it intimate amd I’m quite comfortable with that kind of audience. Often that forces people to be more attentive which is good for me but for the burleque dancers perhaps not so much. I wore a pretty floral dress, black shrug and my black boots. I looked a bit like a school teacher!

I popped to work to get changed as it meant I could take my time and I do rather like the brief train ride and mingling with the crowds in Glasgow.

A few days later I was back at the Britannia Panopticon for a special Spangled Cabaret. It was part of the BBC6 Music Festival Fringe so my tiny name appeared on a poster thus…I’ve circled it so you can see 😊.

I love being on posters, no matter how tiny. I shared a bill with some fellow poets including Stephen Watt, A Crow and Elaine Gallagher. Also appearing were The Creative Martyrs, Scunner, Markee De Saw + Bert Finkle, Dharma Gheddon, Miss Hells Belle, Tom Harlow and Kim Khaos. Paul from Puppet who also ran the show was interviewed beforehand and a portion of it was broadcast the following day was quite exciting. I got changed in work again as it was easier. This time I wore a purple jumper dress with POCKETS and my black boots again.

Excitingly I popped into Tesco Express, which is a mini-supermarket, on the way to the venue and was able to hear my shoes clicking on the tiled floor. Such a joyous sound! Normally I listen to music when I’m out and about so I can zone out a bit but I couldn’t resist.

The gig itself went well though I don’t think it was as busy as Paul had hoped. Everyone who was there enjoyed it though and satisfyingly I sold another 3 copies of my book. Galactic Carnival, AKA Debbie who works at the Panopticon took some photos and here are the 3 I’ve seen of me.

I really love the black and white one! In fact my friend Jenny B-Side photoshopped it this morning…

Excitingly when I was hanging about I spied a familiar face on a poster for The Big Variety on the 15th of April…

Friday and Sunday seen me debuting with a newly joined band called The Well Happy Band. I can’t recall if I’ve mentioned them before but they’re the happiest band I’ve ever encountered. In male mode I play bass for them. They’ve a mini album coming out soon that’s worth checking out. You can follow this link to their website The Well Happy Band.

On Saturday in between those gigs I once again found myself at the Western Baths Club for another Comedy Lotto. Tiredness prevented me from opening and closing this show so I just opened it instead. I think I went down okay. I got to read a new poem called ‘Microphone Banter’ which was okay. If I get into a regular habit of sharing more poetry I may put it up. I’m working on another more epic poem just now about waiting for a bus at night and all the things that come into my head. It happens a lot just now and I may as well right what I know eh?

For once I was quite pleased with my look that night. I felt rather cute and someone even bought me a drink lol! I wasn’t sure about the wig when I first got it but I’m warming to it now. I always find with wigs it’s not just the make-up but it’s finding the right outfit to go with them too. Like that curly one that let me down in February – that was a difficult one to dress for.

We were lucky at this gig to also have some fine female comedians on the bill. Natalie Sweeney Potter (a firm favourite of mine and such a lovely lady), Sarah Jayne-Judge (feisty and very sharp in the best possible way) and Charlotte McDonald who had some cracking stories and observations. Scott McPherson was there too being that it was show, Fergus Mitchell who was on top form again and who had actually brought his 2 sons with him as they had never seen their dad do stand up before! I believe they were impressed 😊. Lastly Gary Faulds, son of an infamous bankrobber apparently. A funny guy to the core, I only sat in his company briefly but it was an approarious pleasure.

Next up is an all day event at Nice n’Sleazy in Glasgow. A takeover by Spite House and Queer Theory so it should be great fun. I’m on that poster too!

Plastic Poisoning

Plastic fork – plastic knife
Plastic feelings – plastic life
Plastic spoon – plastic plate
Plastic bottle – rehydrate
Plastic arms – plastic legs
Plastic penis for plastic sex
Too much plastic in your life
Plastic husband – plastic wife
Plastic ego – plastic mind
Plastic reasons for you to find
If you see a plastic man
Melt him down and start again
Plastic fever – plastic cure
Plastic boredom to endure
Plastic poisoning is not your friend
It will get you in the end!

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