Tag Archives: male to female

Anna’s Valentine Poem

‘Anna’s Valentine Poem’

 

I can’t guarantee chocolate

or rosey flowers

or ceaseless passion

for uncountable hours

but you can have my attention

and my utter devotion

…and all those other

gushy emotions! 😉

 

ajb

*This poem is dedicated to my wife xxx

Status: Woe

‘Status: Woe’

 

My face hurts from smiling

My tongue hurts from lying

My eyes hurt from crying

My hands hurt from trying

 

My ears hurt from listening

My brain hurts from thinking

My liver hurts from drinking

My heart hurts from sinking

 

My feet hurt from running

My knees hurt from jerking

My soul hurts from working

My pride hurts from lurking

 

My conscience hurts from telling

My moods hurt from swinging

My throat hurts from singing

My nose hurts from minging…still, you’ve got to laugh!


 

I can’t breakaway!

This is just a wee post to share some footage from the Rio Café gig I did some weeks ago. I knew someone was filming but didn’t expect to see the results any time soon.

The entirety of my performance of the Big Pig song ‘Breakaway’ is now available on Youtube for you viewing displeasure. If the title and band doesn’t sound familiar then know of it as the song from the beginning of ‘Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure’…which is also the closing track on my new album (hint hint).

For anyone who may have missed it here is also a gateway to the aforementioned album…

https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=652853821/size=large/bgcol=ffffff/linkcol=0687f5/tracklist=false/transparent=true/

Many thanks to Jon the Hat for filming, editing and ultimately putting it out there! He’s a cool guy who also makes his own instruments, here’s a link to his website http://www.haufcut.com/?m=1

Anna In Print!

I forgot to mention in my last post that I got my first little piece of press. The Skinny magazine, which is a free monthly events periodical, featured my last gig as one of the things to look out for. There was a description of the night and a picture of yours truly to accompany it. I wasn’t even headlining! Excitingly I was contacted independently and asked to supply a press shot. I just sent the one of me in the red dress that I use for all my profile pictures. It is one of the best though it would be nice to get some proper ones done soon.

image

Eddie Izzard is further down the page so I was in good company. Suffice to say I picked up a few copies though I’m not sure what I’ll do with them as Anna is still kind of a secret and I can’t shout too loudly about it.

I’ll also take the chance to share a few photos from a couple of weeks ago. I had a little rehearsal and I was trying out a couple of new tops and such. The bit of card with @jahsflower written on it was something I did for Instagram. One of the lovely ladies I follow wanted to start a shout out style campaign to promote happiness and well being. She reckons through shouting out to each other and giving and receiving likes and positive comments will make us all feel good about ourselves. I’m paraphrasing of course but you get the idea. I was the first to respond to her and she reposted my pic a week later. I was looking at it earlier on today and viewed the comments underneath with a mixture of amusement and dismay. Some of her regular followers are not happy about her sharing a picture that contains a man dressed as a woman I can tell you. Upon visiting the page of the most outraged one I was shocked to see it mainly contained photos of his gun collection. I bet he wouldn’t hesitate to mow me down if he seen me in person! Frightening stuff 😨

image

image

image

A Promise

“A Promise”

I won’t put words in your mouth
Or ideas in your head
Or show you black and white photos
Of mouldy bread
I won’t put shoes in your fridge
Or swap your vodka for brine
I won’t reset your watch
To the incorrect time
I won’t distract you from doing
What you planned to today
Or make a giant model
Of your head in clay (Hellooooo…)
I won’t swat you when pretending
To kill a bee
Or roll my eyes when you’re
Talking to me

I won’t say one thing
And do another
Or alienate your friends
Or tickle your mother
I won’t answer the phone
In a high-pitched voice
Like an excited mouse
That’s gone all moist
I won’t forget your birthday
Or other important dates
Or wake you up early
When we’ve stayed up late
But I will say I love you
And mean it as well
It’s a pleasure and a privilege
To be under your spell

image

image

image

Anna’s 2015 Annual Report

Hello again!

I’m not often one that likes to do what everyone else does but I couldn’t resist joining in with with this Year Review lark. My stats perhaps pale in comparison to others but I’ve never been good at getting myself out there. On the whole I feel it has been a good year though because I feel like I’ve made some superb digital friends that one day I would love to be able to meet in person.

For anyone that’s morbidly interested here it is…

https://annasecretpoet.wordpress.com/2015/annual-report/

Next time I investigate just who exactly did put the bomp in the bomp-a-bomp-a-bomp so until then 🙂

B-Side Boy vs VHS Girl

Hello there everybody, I’m very excited as today I decided to drop my new album. I’d be most gratified if anyone of a musical disposition would run it by their ears. I’ve elected to embed it in this post and also attach a link to my Mixcloud page to which I uploaded the entire album. That means it can enjoyed (hopefully) from start to finish.

BSIDEVHS COVER 1

As you can see I ended up going through with my cover idea. I got a PC literate friend to try joining the pictures together properly and although his results were astonishingly better than mine most folk preferred my Microsoft Paint one. Below are the his contributions, one of which I retained as the inner sleeve and I added the track titles.

symeys version 1.JPG

symeys version 2.JPG

On the whole I’m pleased with it, I did spend a while sequencing the tracks into the right order etc. They run as follows; I IMAGINED I DIED TODAY, LEARNING TO WALK AWAY*, UNLOVED, THINGS I’VE NEVER DONE IN THE RAIN, IT’S BEEN A SHIT YEAR, NASTY BONE, I DON’T WANT TO SHOOT THE BREEZE, HOORAY FOR EVERYTHING YOU NEVER WANTED*, SHOOBY DON’T*, LOST A FRIEND, MY HEART SONG, NO PRESSURE*. The songs marked * have had their lyrics put up as previous posts masquerading as poetry. ‘Shooby Don’t’ was posted as ‘Ode from a Toad’ but I decided to change that title when I came up with a chorus.

Here is the link for Bandcamp 🙂

…and here it is for Mixcloud 😉

https://www.mixcloud.com/widget/iframe/?embed_type=widget_standard&embed_uuid=73bdbecb-fe3b-4b2d-a7a8-5a5298ea00f9&feed=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.mixcloud.com%2FChairmanCow%2Fb-side-boy-vs-vhs-girl%2F&hide_cover=1&hide_tracklist=1&replace=0

<p style=”display: block; font-size: 11px; font-family: &quot;Open Sans&quot;,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; margin: 0px; padding: 3px 4px; color: rgb(153, 153, 153); width: 652px;”><a href=”https://www.mixcloud.com/ChairmanCow/b-side-boy-vs-vhs-girl/?utm_source=widget&amp;utm_medium=web&amp;utm_campaign=base_links&amp;utm_term=resource_link&#8221; target=”_blank” style=”color:#808080; font-weight:bold;”>B-Side Boy vs VHS Girl</a><span> by </span><a href=”https://www.mixcloud.com/ChairmanCow/?utm_source=widget&amp;utm_medium=web&amp;utm_campaign=base_links&amp;utm_term=profile_link&#8221; target=”_blank” style=”color:#808080; font-weight:bold;”>Chairmancow</a><span> on </span><a href=”https://www.mixcloud.com/?utm_source=widget&amp;utm_medium=web&amp;utm_campaign=base_links&amp;utm_term=homepage_link&#8221; target=”_blank” style=”color:#808080; font-weight:bold;”> Mixcloud</a></p>

I do hope you get a chance to check it out, in spite of some of the grim titles there is much to enjoy, and it gets groovier and diverse as it moves along. Often I use Rock as a starting off point and then I like to spread out a bit.