Tag Archives: crossdress

Arty Anna

It’s been a funny few weeks since the Drag-Opticon gig. I think it’s because I have a lot on in March that I may be becoming anxious about it. I pulled out of a gig the other week at the last minute. It was after work and I’d just finished getting changed to go to the venue and upon looking in the full length mirror I did not like what I saw. Cue a massive crisis of confidence which culminated in me clambering back into my drab clothes and sitting on the floor propped up by the door. I don’t know if it was my choice of outfit, the hair and make-up, my loss of faith in my material as it was a comedy night I was appearing at. It could have been all of the above. Suffice to say the homing instinct kicked in and home I went. I only managed one picture from that session and here it is, I don’t like it that much but I guess it’s relevant to this particular situation.

Matters improved for my next appearance which was 4 days later. This performance took place at ‘Dr Sketchy’ in Stereo, Renfield Lane, Glasgow. It was unusual in a number of respects, the first being that it was at 1 in the afternoon, it was a paid gig and that it involved life drawing! Usually they have burlesque dancers and folk like that and the idea is that you do your act then you pose for the audience to draw you. Tremendous fun but also challenging. I’m not terribly great at staying still but I managed fairly well. It was so warm under those lights. I think I did 4 poses in total; one where I stood holding my guitar, one sitting down reading a book, one with me holding an opened umbrella and another where I lay on a blanket propped up against the back of the stage.

I think Nicola, the lady running the show took this one during my first pose. Here are a few pics showing how I actually looked. If I do say so myself I reckon I looked a lot better than my previous attempt.

Sadly I never got to see any of the drawings, I was hoping people would share them to the Dr Sketchy Facebook page but to no avail. It was also a first in that I shared the bill with a pair of life models. A married couple from the USA who seem to be travelling about the place, seeing the sights, appearing naked in the basements of bars for strangers to draw them. If I was wearing a hat I’d take it off to them! I had brought a sketchpad with me so I could join in so I relished the opportunity to give it a try. They did 6 poses I think and I drew them all but only one or two turned out well enough to share.

I’ve never drawn naked people before. I always prefer drawing animals or things as I find the human face particularly difficult – lips especially. Luckily the lady had wild hair that more often than not cascaded over her face and made it a bit easier. I’d definitely love to go again sometime!

A new wig arrived last week too so that was more than a bit exciting. It’s very close indeed to the shade of red I’ve been seeking for several years. For the benefit of non regular readers of this blog I shall briefly explain that I have long been trying to find a suitable replacement for my first brilliant wig. A gorgeous long auburn one with prominent bangs. This one doesn’t have the fringe but the shade is almost the same.

It’s bloody tight though haha! I must have a big head though to be fair. Next gig is ‘Ashes to Ashes’, a cabaret tribute to David Bowie at the Polo Lounge on the 1st of March. I’ve been asked to provide a special Bowie poem which I have been dutifully working on for the last while. It’s more or less done and probably just needs a wee touch-up. Here is the poster for it, it’s very smart indeed!

Anna’s Valentine Poem

‘Anna’s Valentine Poem’

 

I can’t guarantee chocolate

or rosey flowers

or ceaseless passion

for uncountable hours

but you can have my attention

and my utter devotion

…and all those other

gushy emotions! 😉

 

ajb

*This poem is dedicated to my wife xxx

Life is Officially a Drag (in the best possible way)

I began my 2017 gig schedule in one of the coolest venues I’ve ever been in – and I mean that in both terms of temperature and ‘wow that’s cool!’. The Britannia Panopticon is a culturally, historically and aesthetically significant place. Apparently it’s the oldest surviving music hall, built in the late 1880s and closed in 1938 just before the war. So barring the odd superficial embellishments here and there it is pretty much as it was when it closed its doors to the public all those years ago.

I was there for an evening of drag, an event amusingly titled ‘Dragopticon’. It’s my first such billing and I admit I was a tad apprehensive. Most people involved with it hadn’t seen me before so I hoped I’d be able to get through it all without making an arse of myself. I really enjoyed rambling about backstage surrounded by top hats, corsets, bric-a-brac, rolls of pianola paper (if that’s even how you refer to them). The host Alana Duvey immediately put me at ease and I met the others one by one who are all part of Glasgow’s thriving drag scene. What a beautiful and inventive bunch! My fellow cast members included…

Alana Duvey herself

alana-duvey

Dharma Geddon

dharma-gheddon

Ru Jazzle

rujazzle

CJ Banks

cj-banks

and

Ann Phetimine

ann-phetimine

The format was that we all got 2 performances, 1 in each half, and I was truly blown away by them. The whole gig is up on Youtube having been filmed by an eager audience member. Here are links to my 2 sets…

 

My wife and sister came along as did my old friend Rachel and her brother Stuart. They had a blast too and were seriously talking about attending the next one. A lady took professional photos of everyones performances as well which I shall share here also. I took them from Facebook so the quality is not so great. She goes by the name Galactic Carnival so I thank her most graciously for the images and for letting me use them.

I even got to debut a new song called ‘Star Wars Pants’. A joyous celebration of my Star Wars underwear. Well I hadn’t intended to but I stupidly mentioned it on mic and I was cajoled into doing it. Also I was most pleased to see a lady called Carrianne and her friend pop along to support me. She’s a lovely lady I encountered at Queer Theory a few months back who graciously leant me her plectrum earring as I was plectrumless at the time. Brilliant stuff!

I also managed a few amateurish snaps of my own after I got ready and was hanging about backstage…

There was a milestone as well a few days ago on the 5th of February. The anniversary of my first gig! I sure have came a long way since that first outing. Here’s to another year 🙂

Dick Pic

‘Dick Pic’

Sometimes my inbox is a scary place

Sometimes there are pictures – but not of a face

Or kittens or vegetables or castles or palaces…

But raging stonners and laughable phalluses!

A dick pic is not going to win my affection

I don’t care if you can achieve an erection

Everyone’s braver behind a mobile phone

I doubt if you’d be so cocky if we were alone

Cassette Glam!

This post is just a short one, really just an excise to show off some pictures I took today. My friend Deedee gave me a dress before Christmas. It was one that didn’t really fit her and she thought that I may want it. It’s not my usual style but I may have found a way to wear it.

Yesterday I bought a radio cassette player second hand. A proper 80s one! I’ve been on the lookout for one for a while as I still make the odd mixtape and it means I can now play them whilst cooking dinner and dancing badly. I had an idea this morning for a photo opportunity with the tape player and the dress. There wasn’t long to capture it as I had a bunch of other chores to do but I got a couple of good shots that I can maybe use as press shots or whatever.

Firstly, some pics of the dress…

At this point I switched to my DSLR as I prefer to use that. It works better for indoors…

Enter the cassette…

This next shot is my most favourite one!

Then I decided to try a few sitting down…

I’m really pleased with how they turned out especially the ones with the flash. I wouldn’t normally use it but it helped the glittery bits stick out 🙂

Sinister winking, Jesus as a woman and looking to the future in general

Sometimes I hate having to title things, I may come back and change this at one point retroactively. I actually did that with my first four posts as I had originally only given them dates as names. They were even harder to name as they were almost themeless ramblings – I say almost as crossdressing was the main unifying theme.

Well I’ve had a few more outings since my last post proper. One of those was as an extra in a Black Doves music video being filmed partly at the Rio Cafè in Partick. The story was set in the sixties so I donned my wig with prominent bangs and wore a polka dot dress…

This was another after work activity so I got dressed in my usual toilet and popped along for a few hours. I had to stop off in a nearby Sainsburys to pick up makeup wipes so that was officially Anna’s first shop visit. Damn the lighting is unforgiving in those places! Amusingly I also passed a couple of folk from my work on the main road. One clocked me and the other didn’t. The lady who did was full of compliments the next day which did brighten the otherwise tired and hungover morning I was to have afterwards.

Aside from the band themselves and some of their friends I was joined by singing sensation Violet Duff who looked amazing as usual and a very dapper looking Paul Puppet. He is the vocalist in a band called ‘Scunner’ of whom I’ve had the pleasure of playing alongside a few times over the years. He is also the man behind Spangled Cabaret and therefore the first person to give me a chance. What a guy!

The next gig I had was on Saturday the 17th of December at the Sinister Wink. It was awesome to once again be guests of The Creative Martyrs at the Bungo in the southside of Glasgow. Also joining me was Miss Innocence Bliss, one of my favourite burlesquers and a lovely person to boot. I learned a Christmas song as it was technically a Christmas gig. I don’t normally do festive songs but one of my exceptions to the rule and ticker of obscure boxes is that old Go Go’s classic ‘I’m gonna spend my Christmas with a Dalek’. It’s a real song honestly, it’s from the sixties at the height of Dalekmania. Gabriel Featherstone popped along too which was cool, he’d brought along his friends Chris and Boo too. Whilst I was chatting to them upstairs before the show a lady from my work arrived with some friends for a drink. Instictively I waved over and she eventually realised who I was – I often forget I must look so different all dressed up. We had a lovely brief chat and she joined her friends again.

As you can see I went for that Mrs Claus that I did last year when I had a little Christmas shoot. A couple of other people took photos. This next one was by Emma Fork.

A lady called Ruth EJ Booth took a few crackers too and she has kindly allowed me to share them here :).

A great gig overall. I did my usual mixture of poetry and music and generally had a ball. Thinking to myself that that was me until New Year. Wrong! On the Monday I received a wee message from Dean from Black Doves about doing a turn at the last Queer Theory of the year on the Wednesday. To me that was a no brainer as I’ve been loving the whole being offered gigs thing these days. There have been a couple I’ve sadly had to turn down but that’s not bad considering how many I’ve said yes too.

I met my friend Deedee for dinner upstairs in the venue before the gig. Nice n’ Sleazy was the place, a Glasgow stalwart, one of the few. I just had chips I must confess as I was being a cheap ass. It was compered as usual by the incomparible Callum MacLeod. Joining me on the bill were Kavita Bhardwaj the comedian (and a good pal of mine these days), Ruby Waters (a brilliant drag artiste – one of her acts was ‘Alien’ themed and saw her dress up as Ripley!), Boris Gay (not sure how to describe Boris Gay but I thoroughly enjoyed her), the Black Doves (who brought some sparkle as usual) and Zyna Hel (who was sonically mesmerizing and gorgeous to behold in equal measure).

I snapped these pics backstage. They turned out okay actually, there was a wee ledge I could rest the phone on to do so. Someone was taking pictures so hopefully I’ll get to see them in the new year. It was getting late and Deedee offered me a lift up the road which I duly accepted. She dropped me off at a roundabout 15 mins or so from my house. She wasn’t local so I didn’t want to bamboozle her with directions. Also she gave me a dress which she had purchased recently that didn’t fit. Walking up the hill to my house in heels with a guitae and suitcase is not something I want to repeat any time soon I can tell you!

Status: Woe

‘Status: Woe’

 

My face hurts from smiling

My tongue hurts from lying

My eyes hurt from crying

My hands hurt from trying

 

My ears hurt from listening

My brain hurts from thinking

My liver hurts from drinking

My heart hurts from sinking

 

My feet hurt from running

My knees hurt from jerking

My soul hurts from working

My pride hurts from lurking

 

My conscience hurts from telling

My moods hurt from swinging

My throat hurts from singing

My nose hurts from minging…still, you’ve got to laugh!