Tag Archives: brunette

Busy Anna

I don’t think I’ve done a proper post in a few weeks so I’m going to attempt it now whilst sharing some more pics. March is a busy month for me performance-wise. I have 6 Anna gigs in total and that’s me done 3 already. The first one was a hotly anticipated Bowie tribute night I participated in for Cabaret Against Cancer and that was fantastic. I shared a bill with some incredible and glamorous folk that night I can tell you. It was ran by Tom Harlow and Kim Khaos under their Glitter & Grind Revue moniker and also featured Paul Puppet (who also compered), Jack Squat, Markee De Saw & Bert Finkle, Amber Skyline, Raven Rose, Tootsie Annie, The Great Aziz, Jakob Martyr and The Drag Queens of Glasgow who included Alana Duvey, Dharma Gheddon, CJ Banks, Lacy Rain amongst others. In the end I believe we raised just under £600 which was to be split between 3 cancer charities. I didn’t get to sing unfortunately but I did get to write a Bowie poem which I shared the other week and can be viewed here What’s Your Favourite Bowie?

My look was a grey t-shirt with sequined stripes, black flat panelled skirt, black platform boots and a red wig.

I changed into the platform boots when I got to the venue, obviously 😄.

Top photo was by Jamie McFadyen and bottom pic was by Steve Kinnon.

I even got to join in on the finale which was a rendition of ‘Starman’. Knowing I wouldn’t get to bring an actual instrument I cheekily brought a maraca with me so I’d have something to do…

The week after the gig I returned to an idea I’d had a few times before about printing a little pamphlet of some of my poems. A lot of them had been typed up already so it wouldn’t take an enormous effort to corale them together. During the week I set to work. I cobbled together a cover image, proof-read the poems so there weren’t any embarrassing spelling mistakes, printed them as an A5 booklet on two sides of the paper then stapled it all together. I ran off 30 copies which may seem optimistic but I reasoned I could recycle any that didn’t sell. Oh yeah I planned to sell them for £1 if I can. I called it ‘Vicious Fruit’.

The next gig was a night at McChuills again and it wasn’t very good. It’s primarily a rock venue and there was a birthday party in that night so it was rather doomed as far as spoken word goes. I felt sorry for the comedians – at least I had a guitar. I forewent poems and went straight to songs throwing in a raucous cover of ‘I heard it through the grapevine’ for good measure in amongst my normal nonsense.

A few days before, my phone died and I made do with a dubious tablet bequeathed from my mother. I used that to take the grainy images of my outfit you see below this sentence.

I left before the end as I’d had a long day with no lunch or dinner…unless you include cider as dinner! I had to retain energy for the next gig which was the very next night. Thankfully I was able to procure a new phone and recommence social networking activities as normal. Also the camera on the phone is especially good quality. Particularly so when you flip the lens round for Selfie Mode (yes it’s actually called that!).

The gig was at the Western Baths Club and was ran by Scott MacPherson as part of the Glasgow Comedy Festival. This venue was the scene of an unfortunate heckling incident when a woman stopped me during my ‘Let’s Dance’ cover to tell me that what I was doing was a disgrace to the memory of a great artist and I should be ashamed of myself 😄. Also on the bill were Gabriel Featherstone, Kavita Bhardwaj, Natalie Sweeney Potter, Fergus Mitchell and Craig Dolan. Apparently the Bowie incident from last November was a talking point for weeks afterwards. Scott referenced it by wearing a t-shirt of David Bowie with his finger on his lips as if to say “shhhhhh”.

That gig was a lot better! I got to close and end the show which was nice. I do it again in a fortnight which should be interesting…I do hope I can find more material to bring. The second half was funny in particular as it was more improvised. It was called Comedy Lotto. There were a load of numbered balls  and random picking of subjects to talk on, much like ‘Mock the Week’ or ‘Whose Line is it Anyway?’ sort of thing. Incidentally I sold 5 copies of my pamphlet at this gig so I was well pleased. They cost nothing to produce so I’m in profit already 😊.

Another week till my next one which is a horror inspired cabaret at The Blue Chair hosted by Gabriel. It’s called Shoggoth! Hopefully I’ll get off my arse and come up with something entertaining to bring along X

Status: Woe

‘Status: Woe’

 

My face hurts from smiling

My tongue hurts from lying

My eyes hurt from crying

My hands hurt from trying

 

My ears hurt from listening

My brain hurts from thinking

My liver hurts from drinking

My heart hurts from sinking

 

My feet hurt from running

My knees hurt from jerking

My soul hurts from working

My pride hurts from lurking

 

My conscience hurts from telling

My moods hurt from swinging

My throat hurts from singing

My nose hurts from minging…still, you’ve got to laugh!


 

If you haven’t heard from me, I’m probably dead

If you haven’t heard from me, I’m probably dead

Though it may not have crossed your mind

My lack of communication

Is cos I’ve left my body behind

Maybe you think I’ve moved on

And have made some new friends

‘Moving on’ could be correct

In a suddenly non-living sense

If you haven’t heard from me, I wouldn’t worry

Probably life’s got in the way

I’ve been juggling it so awkwardly

It’s in such disarray

What was the last thing I said to you?

I bet it was as innocuous as hell

And you’ve probably forgotten

That’s why you don’t want to tell!

If you haven’t heard from me, I’m probably dead

It’s not like I’d be able to say

We don’t even know the same people

So you can’t find out that way

Don’t even know if I deserve tributes

Let alone ones I’d likely never see

So let’s share our feelings now

Me to you and you to me

Last Minute Gig Joy!

Excitingly on Tuesday I was offered a last minute gig for a Thursday night cabaret at a significant venue for me. I had been offered the chance to perform at the Riding Room – the very destination for Anna’s first excursion into the world. I felt I could hardly turn it down! It was just a brief set as usual, around 10 minutes worth and I decided that as well as the usual poems I would end on a song accompanying myself on the guitar. That ought to liven things up a little.

The host was a lady called Roxy Stardust – a formidably dressed lady indeed and she greeted me with a warm hug. ‘Roxy’s Round Up’ was the official title of the night and she explained that it was a chance to try new acts out. I hoped in some way that I would pass the test so to speak as I’m starting to get a good feeling about what I’m doing and finally gaining some form of confidence. I was determined not to let her down. As it happens everyone else on the bill were burlesque dancers and that was an utter joy. Having to share a dressing space was tricky though I can assure you that I played the part of the gentleman well.

I opened the second act around the half 11 but after reading 3 poems I got the feeling that it was best to break out the song. I realise poetry isn’t for everyone and although there were laughs in the right places I was tired. I gave them my spirited rendition of ‘Angel Eyes (Home and Away)’ by Wet Wet Wet. A tried and tested classic that I know inside out and didn’t need to pre-rehearse. Next time I’ll break out something equally diverse ;).

I think I went down reasonably well and when I came off stage I headed straight for the dressing area. I’d built up quite a heat and knew it was time to ‘normalize’. Happily I was able to save taxi money by catching the last bus – although it bloody crawled home I can tell you. Got in for half 1. Pity I couldn’t have gotten the next day off from work 😩.

I only got to take one picture, just after I’d gotten changed. Though I did notice a man snapping away at stage right so hopefully I’ll see and share some official photos at one point. Actually I was quite pleased with how I looked this time round. Possibly it was because the area where I got changed was a bit chilly so my make-up didn’t run. I had some problems the last time with my eyeliner in particular. My next gig is on the 18th of May and that’s looking like it’s going to be a cracker too!

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A Promise

“A Promise”

I won’t put words in your mouth
Or ideas in your head
Or show you black and white photos
Of mouldy bread
I won’t put shoes in your fridge
Or swap your vodka for brine
I won’t reset your watch
To the incorrect time
I won’t distract you from doing
What you planned to today
Or make a giant model
Of your head in clay (Hellooooo…)
I won’t swat you when pretending
To kill a bee
Or roll my eyes when you’re
Talking to me

I won’t say one thing
And do another
Or alienate your friends
Or tickle your mother
I won’t answer the phone
In a high-pitched voice
Like an excited mouse
That’s gone all moist
I won’t forget your birthday
Or other important dates
Or wake you up early
When we’ve stayed up late
But I will say I love you
And mean it as well
It’s a pleasure and a privilege
To be under your spell

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