Tag Archives: gender swap

Not so Secret Poet (or Dressing for Money)

The last eighteen months have definitely been a fun and interesting time. Taking Anna out of the house and into the real world has been a dream come true. I may need to change my name though as I’m a poorly kept secret. That proverbial cat escaped the bag some time ago and now even my mum and grandparents know now. I don’t mind at all in fact I feel relieved. I’ve certainly been kept too busy to stop and ponder it properly. These last few weeks haven’t been an exception. I was back at Spangled Cabaret on Monday the 8th of May alongside Markee de Saw + Bert Finkle, Alana Duvey, Raven Rose, Stewart Traquair, Aria Octavia and Obie the Comedian. As always the fabulous line-up was presided over by Paul Puppet. It all went very well I thought. I got a 15 minute slot and just filled it with songs, 4 I think it was. I sported a lovely floral blue summer dress with brown hair and black tights.

The next three shows I undertook were unique, for me anyway, in that I made some money from them. This excited and amused me greatly as I’m essentially being paid to dress up and sing a few songs!

My next engagement was the following Saturday at the Buff Club in Glasgow. I was to host an evening run by a fab band called Reality TV. This daunted me slightly but I emerged at the other end reasonably unscathed. I did get a little set of my own and at the end I joined the band onstage for a rendition of ‘Let’s Dance’. For this gig I wore my favourite teal skater dress with sheer tights – I did my legs for the occasion 😉.

This next photo is a selfie I took with Kerry and her pal Leigh, friends of the band Reality TV.

The next three photos were taken by Kayliegh Bissett, a talented young photographer who documented the night ❤.

The next one was taken by Cate Soave during ‘Let’s Dance’ – I think I’m midway through singing the line “tremble like a flooooooower”.

The following Tuesday I was a guest of Dharma Gheddon and Alana Duvey at their night ‘Drag 101’ held at The Gilchrist Postgraduate Club in Glasgow University. That was a fab night! Also appearing were Lacy Rain, Frans Gender and Lucy Stewpid. I just got up and did a few songs again but everyone sang and clapped along to ‘Spoonful of Sugar’ which was marvellous. I managed to forget my guitar strap and had to fashion one from a scarf again. As a consequence of it’s fickle relationship with my strap holders I had to walk about with my guitar on all night 😄.

A selection of pics were taken during my performance by a lady called Frankie Hunter and they were pretty damn cool!

(L-R Dharma Gheddon, Frans Gender, Lacy Rain, Lucy Stewpid, me and Alana Duvey)

A lady in the audience called Joana Bê Esse took one of me too that I like…

Plus I posed for a picture with Diana Monte who was in the audience. She’s bloody awesome!

Next up on the Saturday I was in a pub in Govan called The Amethyst. This was for a night ran by The Creative Martyrs as part of the Southside Fringe and was a ticketed event. Seemingly bought mainly by a bunch of folk who hadn’t been to a cabaret before. Not enough whooping and hollering in the right places. I shared the bill with the Martyrs themselves, The Great Aziz and Raven Rose. It went mostly okay – I may have confused some folk as usual. My D string broke during the last song which is not bad going as I’ve had that guitar for 7 years without a breakage.

…post show toilet selfie. Seemingly a must these days!

Only one photo has surfaced from my performance, taken by the lady in charge who’s name sadly escapes me. It’s okay though as my name was wrong on the poster and differently wrong on the pub’s Facebook page so…

Most of my upcoming gigs are Well Happy Band related so I have time to sort out some new Anna material (hopefully). I worry a little that my next four gigs will be my last four and I won’t get booked again but I need to stop worrying about stupid shit like that. I’ll be hosting Queer Theory on the 14th of June which should be very interesting. I’ve already started making notes about the other performers so that all ready to go when the time comes. Just need to pick an outfit and that should be me!

What’s your favourite Bowie?

Ziggy Bowie – Crooning Bowie

Plastic soul Bowie – Funky Bowie

Music Hall Bowie – Silly Boy Blue Bowie?

Cheeky Bowie – Laughing Gnome Bowie

Dark Bowie – Gay Bowie

Straight Bowie – don’t mind either way Bowie?

Androgynous Bowie – Eye-patch Bowie

Pierrot Bowie – Earthling Bowie

Space Bowie – Is it cold in space Bowie…would you like to borrow my jumper Bowie?

Cockney Bowie – Swiss Bowie

New York Bowie – Berlin Bowie

Eno Bowie – Iggy Bowie?

Goblin King Bowie – Vampire Bowie

Elephant Man Bowie – Snowman Bowie

P.O.W. Bowie – Shark Bowie? (Has anyone seen ‘Yellowbeard’?)

Bleached Blonde Bowie – Live Aid Bowie

Dancing in the Street with Mick Jagger Bowie

Tonight Bowie – Glass Spider Bowie

Tin Machine Bowie?

Bo-wie Bowie – Halloween Bowie

Arty Bowie – Little Drummer Boy Bowie

Or should I say Bing Crosby Bowie

Under Pressure Bowie?

Burroughs Bowie – Baal Bowie

Buddha Bowie – Jungle Bowie

Heathen Bowie – Lazarus Bowie

Unwashed and Somewhat Slightly Dazed Bowie?

I like all the Bowies – and always will Bowie

With little or no exception Bowie

It’s all good Bowie – Goodnight Bowie!

Queer Theory Photos

This is a follow up to my last post as since then I very gladly received 15 high quality images from Dean Darkie Cargill of Black Doves fame from my last gig. Photos were taken by a friend of mine, a very talented chap called Martin J. Windebank. It’s rare for me to have photos of Anna taken by someone else and the fact that they are great images makes them even more special…

Then I switched to the guitar after the poetry as I often do…

I really love the one shot from below when I’m in motion. Cracking stuff! I also found myself lurking in a couple of other photos. This next one is me with my friend Deedee and her friend Emma…

That’s a blurry one of me laughing my head off at something. The blonde lady on the far right is Tom Harlow who put on a showstopping performance that night as his alter ego Harlow.

Some footage from my last Spangled gig has surfaced on Youtube also, courtesy of Jon the Hat. It’s basically footage of my 3 songs from that night; 13 Stone’a’luv, Bonus Sausage and Catch the Tiger. Here’s a handy link to view it xxx


Also excitingly it seems I’ll have 2 gigs before years end, a Christmas cabaret with The Creative Martyrs as well as the New Years comedy night I’m doing. I’ve also confirmed my first proper drag show appearance at the end of January. Dragopticon at the Brittania Panopticon, which is the oldest surviving music hall in the world. A very interesting historical place! Originally closed in 1938 but reopened in recent years still in the same state as when it closed, hermetically sealed. I’ve been meaning to go for ages so now I have a definitive excuse :).

The Imaginatively Titled Post 100!

Hello there and welcome to my one hundredth post. Who’d have thought that was even possible…I wonder what the other 99 were about! 
I didn’t write one after my last gig as there wasn’t much to say to be honest. That night was the drugs themed poetry and spoken word night. I had written something specially, which I may share at a later date, but I’m not sure I was any good to be honest. It was a disappointing turnout – even the person running it turned up after the appointed start time. I also took the opportunity to try out mostly new material but the response was lacklustre sadly 😦

The look I rocked at that night can be seen above, sort of a cute librarian style. As there were meant to be a lot of folk reading the start time was early and supposedly rigid. I got away 30 mins early from work and actually got ready and was out the door in that half an hour. Perhaps I shouldn’t have bothered. I ended up leaving early and was home for just after 9pm. Actually who am I kidding…any excuse to cut about in the outside world in a cute skirt and boots!

With Halloween approaching and the now traditional dress up and watch a movie in the evening with my wife, a dressing possibility opened up two days earlier. That would mean I’d also be able to make a few more poetry videos as well as try out some new shoes and outfits. If I don’t get to do Halloween I won’t be upset as I did make the most of that chance. A lady in work had given me an orange dress with zips up the side a couple of weeks ago. It wasn’t too bad in fact it was quite comfy.

Also I dug out a rather cute top I haven’t worn for a couple of years and paired it with a black skirt I’ve become fond of. A comfy outfit to wear for my videos which I shall also share when I’ve edited them. 5 new poems including one I’ve been working on for a few weeks about my Irn Bru addiction…

I should point out that I’m wearing stockings as well. I plan to wear them at my next gig so was just rehearsing putting them on.

Also I found time to take a few Halloween style shots with some cheap vampire teeth. It’s my dodgy attempt at a sexy vampire!

Hope that didn’t scare you too much! Should’ve put up a warning or something ha ha 😄. The Prisma app has a special Halloween filter this week actually. It makes everything blood red and shit your pants scary so I processed those pics through it to see what’d happen.

Aah that’s much better. Hell on earth don’t you think? I better be going now, I hope you all have a fun and relatively safe Halloween. Until next time…it’s back into the closet I go!

What’s so funny?

Anna’s calendar certainly is fuller than I would have expected it to be at this moment. I’ve been off work this week (legitimitely I can assure you) and that’s me had 2 gigs really close to each other. Excitingly I got to perform at my birthplace so to speak, Spangled Cabaret at the Rio Cafè. Always good fun at Spangled! I was intending to attend anyway but I got offered a last minute insertion. Figuring I’d better make an effort I elected to wear that ivory or is it cream dress with the black ruffle on the chest. I also did my legs so I could pair it with a pair of nude heels and attempt elegance.

Damn those heels were tricky! I got changed prior to arriving at the cafè so I had to walk about 20 mins or so over uneven ground. I’m such a glutton for punishment. At least next time I wear them I shant slip or fall over…I wore these at Queer Theory in June and as they were not scored underneath I managed to slip coming down and almost c***ed it (to use a charming Glaswegian phrase). 

Photos courtesy of Ruth EJ Booth who kindly tweeted them later that evening!

As usual the evening was hosted by the unstoppable force that is Paul Puppet. Also performing were Markee De Saw and Bert Finkle, Gabriel Featherstone, Kim Khaos, The Guru and The Creative Martyrs. All were on top form and it was an honour to share a stage with them. I hope I don’t have to wait too long for the next time! In the beginning I was worried about where Anna could play and thought that Spangled may be the only possible outlet. I was very wrong indeed. I’ve been accepted and embraced by a bunch of different scenes – the one I never foresaw was the stand up scene. 

I would never have thought of my act as especially funny, though I do have a sense of humour and it does run through a lot of what I do. Well that’s where I found myself last night, at an evening called Comedy Rocks in a bar called Rockus. It was ran by a formidable lady called Gillian Leckie. My fellow performers were; John Boyle, Darren Dodds, Immy Cann, Gordon Joss, Sam Tennent, Adam Julians and Craig Hosie. I was on 6th so had been sitting about in the bar for a wee while scribbling a set and crossing stuff out again. When I eventually mounted the tiny stage I made sure to not be too boring. I gave them a short poem about plastic poisoning and the perennial favourite ‘Stuck in a dress’. Songwise they were treated to a song called ’13 Stone’a’luv’ which I used to perform with my old band. I like it because it gives me a chance to be dramatic and over the top. Sometimes when my band did it we’d segue into a note perfect rendition of ‘I Feel Love’ but time was tight this evening. I finished with ‘Bonus Sausage’, a charming ode to a kind canteen lady. It all seemed to go well, in fact I may be going back there next month so I’ll need to up the ante at that one if I can.

I had to get changed in work again, this time I treated myself to a sauna…I mean train (it was more sauna than train!)

After I came off I was approached by a chap called Daniel who asked if he could borrow my guitar to perform a couple of tunes. During our brief chat I realised we had a lot in common musically so I didn’t hesitate. It turns out he wasn’t on the bill but had persuaded himself onto it and I’m sure glad he did. His songs were very funny! Both about prisons actually 😄. He gave me his card so hopefully there could be a collaboration in the works. I hung about until just before closing as the general chat and banter was great. Had a great week so far it has to be said. Not sure if I enjoyed shaving 2 days after having last done so – my face was aflame! It’ll be practice for November though as I have 2 gigs 2 days apart. So far it looks like Rockus in October is the next one possibly followed by Extra Second at The Blue Chair, which is a poetry and spoken word evening I appeared at in July. The theme this time is Drugs I believe so I should have plenty of time to come up with something. I’m seriously considering writing a positive drugs piece but I’ll no doubt get back to you on that!

New friends, outfits and gigs oh my!

I have had a busy bunch of weeks since I last posted. Visitors to the web edition of my page will notice that I got the hang of ‘widgets’ and now my page looks a lot more interesting. Also, two more gigs under my girly belt! Of varying quality it has to be said. I’m speaking of my own performance of course – I can be pretty harsh on myself a lot of the time. The one I did a couple of weeks ago was superb. That was the one where I said the dress code was: Fierce. I panicked and dug out a little black dress for the occasion. Sadly I haven’t seen any pictures from the evening as the lady running the night is on holiday but I looked a little bit like this…

I had a whale of a time and was especially happy to be able to hang out with Talullah Belle and Gabriel Featherstone. A dancer and a surreal comedian respectively. Also on the bill were Innocence Bliss, a very lovely lady indeed with a cracking sense of humour, the band Reality TV, who were a nice bunch of chaps and their fanbase were very kind towards us too. I found out afterwards that I’d missed a photo opportunity with the ladies in their entourage as I’d got changed back too hastily. It was ran by a lady called Yasmin who was really lovely too and compered by a drag artist called Diana Fire. Things got quite tense during a part of her act when she produced a knife and cut her tights off…also slicing into her shin. Twas a fierce looking wound to be sure. We were assured once some whisky was doused on it and it was bandaged up it’d be fine but I’m still not convinced.

After the gig Talullah was able to put me in touch with a lady who runs nights in the bar she works in. A rock bar in Partick called Rockus. I’ll be appearing there on Wednesday the 14th of September so I’m really looking forward to that too. I seen Gabriel again on Thursday last as I was appearing at his cabaret night in The Blue Chair called ‘The Boiling Dolphin Cabaret’. That was a good night too but I don’t know if I was on top form or not. I only did songs eschewing poetry as I wasn’t in the mood. I wore my trusty polka dot dress that I’ve had for a couple of years now. I felt dead pretty in it! As there is only one toilet there I had to get changed in work again but I’m cool with that now, I’m starting to enjoy it. I had my first ‘windy dress’ incident on the way to the station which made me giddy for a short while after. Arriving well before everyone else I had the chance to relax and have a meal. There weren’t many other people there so I wasn’t hassled and was able to converse with the owner. A Tasmanian lady called Lorelle – she was a formidable person indeed. Her brownies were outstanding!

I shared a stage with Amelia Bayler and Donald Henderson, 2 very funny comedians. I was taken with Amelia in particular, such confidence. Also there was a close-up magician and mentalist called Paul M Distefano. He was amazing! Amusingly one of the people he chose to do a trick on turned out to also be a magician (apparently they didn’t know each other). The gig was sparsely attended but I’ve come to enjoy those ones more. The intimacy is brilliant fun plus no one can hide or talk haha! 😄 (or eat nachos).

Outfits have been on my mind recently too. I needed some new ones and as well as purchasing some nice dresses myself, a good friend of my wife passed a few onto me. Pictures will follow…oh yes.

These are two that I have purchased at charity shops over the last fortnight.

I’m very excited about the next three I’m showcasing! These are the donations from my wife’s friend. The one at the end is especially fabulous 🙂

Isn’t that peach one exciting? It’s got stage written all over it! Can’t wait to wear it out (once I’ve solved the VPL problem lol).

Hopefully I’ll have some more things to write about soon. Definitely enjoying bringing Anna to life in more social situations these days. There may be opportunities for nights out in the next couple of weeks. I won’t say anymore incase I jinx them!

Have a fab weekend everybody X

More Publicity!

I was contacted a few weeks ago now by a website called Tranzgendr and asked if I wanted to tell my story. I popped over to the site and decided I liked the look and feel of it and thought sure why not. Would be great to add my voice to the throng. It was published later that same day! The header image is a proper picture from my last gig which I finally got to see the other day. Under the link I’ll share the other two.

http://tranzgendr.com/crossdresser/

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In the past few days I’ve managed to get a couple more dates for the coming month. I’m set to play The Creative Martyrs’ Sinister Wink night which I’m especially looking forward to. Also I’m going to appear at my first non-cabaret style evening….an actual poetry night with real poets and everything. It is a themed night also, the theme is ‘equality’ so I’ll have the chance to write something new for it!