For the Love of Dots

Hellbunny Fox Dress…with pocketses!

I decided to treat myself to some new dresses the other week which coincided nicely with some time off work. Lockdown has been busy for me as I’m a key worker so time to glam up is very rare indeed especially with the lack of shows and performing. This resulted in a very lively home shoot which I’d like to share some highlights of in this very post!

The first dress is a Hellbunny one which I have coveted for over a year. Funds made from some recent online gigs contributed to these wonderful purchases. I wouldn’t normally spend around £40 on a dress but this one had foxes on it and is stunningly cute 🧡🦊🧡

The whole vintage pinup style has been floating my boat in quite a serious yet playful way of late. Around April I invested in a wig highly reminiscent of Bettie Page and I can’t stress how much fun I’ve been having with it!

The next outfit was put together around a skirt I purchased from Primark for £3. The top and shrug were both from previous sales there over the years. I wanted to recreate that demure 50s preppy look I sometimes see on Instagram…

Gozer the Gozerian joined me for some photos! ❤🐱❤

I especially love this one!

The next look I tried was with a polka dot top I’ve had for years and a black skirt I’ve had for like 10 years (which sadly is very tight these days lol). I ventured out onto the stairs for more natural light.

I should point out that these photos have been edited slightly here and there but nothing has been to my physical person. I only ever play about with lighting, contrast and saturation and in some cases like the above I have softened the image slightly. It gives it a more classic look I think!

Next up was another Primark dress, this one I inherited from my wife last year. It didn’t photograph so well but I got a few good shots in it…

Forgive me while I turn my back on you briefly 😉

For the last outfit I tried I switched to a red curly wig that I have had for 4 years now and is in bad shape but I love it for these pinup looks. Especially with this polka dot wiggle dress from Collectif!

The mono version – I love both!

Couldn’t resist! 😄

Finally I have playing around with a couple of apps and editing myself into a variety of situations – mainly horror – and I thought you may like to see them if you like that sort of thing 😉

That time Nosferatu thought he could toy with me!

That time I visited the Overlook Hotel!

That time I tried to be Dracula’s consort!

Come play with us Danny!

Oh! And that time I ended up at the Black Lodge! Took me ages to get out 😄

I sincerely hope you are all okay! I’m trying to be around a bit more again and get back into posting so I hope to catch up with you all soon 😘

No Brainer

On Monday the 6th of April I plan to unleash my latest album called ‘No Brainer’. I’d like you to know that the making of it has equally caused me great stress and unfettered joy and I can’t wait to share it!

Here’s how it’ll look…

The photography was done in the summer by a wonderful husband and wife team called Phil and Ange of Them! Images. They came out so well I had to use them on my next release even though I hadn’t conceived it at that point. Indeed they ended up informing the title and the forthcoming video as well so that session provided the germ of inspiration that was needed.

The songs featured are variously about anxiety, goth girls, drunken confessions, the mystery of the missing sock, fake smiles and voyeurism. A little something for everyone hopefully!

The final tracklisting is as follows;

OVERTHINKER ANTHEM

POKE THE BEAR

A WEEK WITHOUT WORRY

B-MOVIE

WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK GO?

DRUNK ENOUGH TO TELL

NO BRAINER

GOTH GIRLS

EVERYBODY’S CHECKING EVERYBODY ELSE OUT

UNEXPECTED TENDERNESS

TEMPORARY SMILE

SHOOBY DON’T

I recorded it at home apart from one track where I went to a rehearsal studio so I could record real drums. For the most part I’m pleased with how it sounds. Vocals are always the hardest to do especially when I’m belting it out at full volume.


It should be available across all the usual digital platforms from April along with all the rest of my discography. Just search for ‘Anna Secret Poet’ and you’ll find me!

Fluffy Jumper Dress

The other week I had a half day from work amd went for a stroll around the charity shops of the west end of Glasgow. I didn’t see much but I did pick up this gorgeous jumper dress for £4! It’s soooooo comfy but it’s scandalously short. I found some time a few days later to try it out…

I decided to try teaming it with a belt I’ve had for ages but not used. I think it looks ago but I reckon I prefer it without.

Cheeky! Sorry, just trying to cool down. It is a rather warm piece of clothing 😉

This is my newest guitar! It’s a lovely Tanglewood electro-acoustic I purchased last month. I had only nipped out to go to the Post Office! 😄 I needed a new one anyway. This one is considerably lighter plus you can plug it in which my other one sadly couldn’t do. Not bad for £79.99!

Before defrocking I decided to film a quick video of me running through one of my latest songs – ‘Vinyl Schminyl’

Festivals, Photoshoots and Eyebrows oh my!

As I have been too busy to post in the last couple of months I thought I’d have a go today at sorting that out. June and July were fun indeed! In the middle of June I was at Eden Festival – my first proper festival experience. In spite of it being a total wash-out I had a great time. I was down with The Well Happy Band and we played a total of 3 gigs over the course of the weekend. In non Anna circumstances I reckon the Eden weekend would have merited a whole post to itself but I shall move on.

My first proper hosting gig went without incident thank goodness. I compered Queer Theory at Nice n’ Sleazy on the 14th of June. Apparently it is the first time it ever ran to schedule in fact! I elected to not hog the limelight too long and let the other acts get on with it. I doubt if I’ll be asked back to do it again though as I don’t think I’m host material. The first photos are ones I took myself backstage.

These were some of the better photos of me that night as snapped by Martin J Windebank.

On the 24th of June I undertook one of my odder shows. It was at a nightclub called Victorias in Glasgow and it was a benefit gig for a lady to raise money to buy a prosthetic arm. I shared the bill with some of my favourite comedians; Kavita Bhardwaj, Natalie Sweeney Potter, Aaron Wilkie and Andrew Ogilvie. Unfortunately given the venue’s reputation as a nightclub a lot of folk didn’t turn up for the comedy part of the evening which commenced sometime after 9. Lack of microphone stand led me to shout all my words out to be heard over my amp. Amusing I suppose. This is one of the few usable pics I took that night after changing.

At the end of June a window opened up for me to do a little bit of dress-up at home which is increasingly rare these days. It enabled me to try out some new outfits I had acquired recently from an aunt and some charity shop excursions.

I enjoyed all those looks, especially with fresh shorn legs! But my favourite was a tartan skater dress that I picked up earlier that day for the princely sum of £2.49 ❤

I loved this dress so much I elected to wear it for my first proper photoshoot which I had scheduled for the middle of July. This was to be with my friend Gary at GAK Photography, a Glasgow based photographer who specialises in cosplay shoots. We did it in a local beauty spot on a very rainy day but the results were mainly satisfactory. At this moment I have only had 2 edited pictures from the shoot and they are reproduced by kind permission below. When I see more I’ll no doubt share them incessantly!

Here are a few odds and ends from the dress-up session in my house to mop them up so to speak.

Over the last few months I have been working towards writing some new songs with the view to having an album out before Christmas. I have now amassed enough for an album and only need now record them in the appropriate fashion. I’ve also been enjoying trying these new songs out live at my last 3 shows at The Blue Chair, McPhabbs and The Project Cafe. In particular my new song ‘Eyebrows!’ has been going down a storm. To this end I decided to bring this forward as a single to promote ahead of my album. I recorded it on Friday evening and paired it with an outtake from my last Chairman Cow album called ‘P.S. Smell Me’.

Here is a link to download and or stream it completely free of charge! Anna Secret Poet – ‘Eyebrows!’ Also this is the cover art for it, I took it at McPhabbs. I was so excited to pose with this antique telephone!

Here are some photos from the last 3 gigs, all of them by me except the blurry action shot which I guess is by Fergus Mitchell.

I’ve a busy week ahead next week! 3 shows on Monday (Spangled at QMU, Glasgow University), Wednesday (Funny Lassies at Kilderkin as part of the Edinburgh Fringe) and Saturday (Pride at the 13th Note Cafè). Also I’ve a wee photoshoot on Saturday afternoon with Galactic Carnival that I’m looking forward to immensely. I hope to be sharing loads more photos again very soon 😉

Hard to Beat

It’s been a month now since Anna’s first night out on the town but it feels longer than that. Plans for a sequel have faltered in the early stages due to some of my friends deciding that perhaps they don’t really want to be associated with such an odd activity. I understand and have quietly and sadly shelved it for the time being. For now I find myself patiently awaiting the next opportunity to dress and I genuinely don’t know when that’ll be. Ordinarily that would make me feel a bit anxious as the days and weeks pass by but this time I feel different. I know I definitely want to do it and even have a few new things I can wear; a couple of dresses and a couple of new tops.

Maybe the night out was a bigger deal than I previously considered. It wasn’t a standard dressing session by any means it was really full on, so it might be hard to top. I’d really like to involve my wife if I can – if indeed I ever do it again. Who am I kidding? Need to man up (well, woman up) and think positive about this. I could make it a Halloween night out, not really gone out at Halloween for years. The last time I think I went as Rimmer from Red Dwarf. That was 2003 and if I’m remembering correctly the original plan was for me to drag up. My wife, who was my girlfriend at the time had procured a long blonde wig from her friend. That was actually the main reason I changed my mind. I don’t see myself as a blonde and I didn’t like how she did my make-up. Obviously I didn’t tell her that, the excuse I gave was more along the lines of me chickening out. We would have had to get on a bus to town for around an hour (and returned afterwards as well). I also didn’t feel feminine enough. At this time I didn’t have much of a clothes collection, only some bras and knickers. No dresses, no skirts, no heels, no point. All my girlfriend had thought to bring was a top that said ‘Barbie is a slut’ on it. I ended up cobbling together the Rimmer thing really quickly as a last minute replacement, see getting that H to stay on my head though. A bloody nightmare! Anyway I’ve gone off on a slight tangent there, probably no point in worrying about it at the moment 🙂

No Ordinary Debutante

With Anna’s social debut only weeks away the proper planning kicks in. For an average night out I hardly have to pre-think at all – well I am a man! An outfit, such as it is, will be picked at almost the last minute. This man outfit will most likely be a shirt and a coloured jeans combo which I have favoured in recent years. With Anna I feel I’m starting from scratch. Though I have to try hard to resist the temptation to buy loads of new things. Theoretically I don’t need a new jacket but I am keeping an eye out for one, preferably a black one that isn’t too long. The two jackets I have already both have their flaws, the hooded one particularly. Sadly that comfy number is cursed with sleeves that are a little short (or are my arms too long?). The long green one is fine but it’s £5 price tag was the chief motivation behind its purchase.

I never envisaged going out for a prolonged period of time else I would have invested a little more thought into their purchase. As for what I’m wearing beneath the jacket, that is easier. From when the idea of a night out was first mooted I instantly thought of my long red houndtooth dress paired with black ankle boots. More or less the outfit I donned on my last expedition outside. In the last week I have been stocking up on some accessories plus I bought a purse and a bag (both from a charity shop). Also, my thoughts have turned for the first time to earrings. Not having pierced ears they never really occurred to me before. Bless you clip ons! I couldn’t decide between hoops or red diamante drop ones so I got both. They were both off of eBay and were relatively inexpensive. I also purchased some rings, a new scarf and something pretty to wear on my wrist. Did I forget to mention that I got a new wig as well? My brown one has been in faithful service for nearly four years now and up close does not look too healthy so replacing it had been on the cards for a while anyway. The plastic hooks that control the tightness disintegrated some time ago and it’s being held together by paperclips!

Where should we end up? It will be after work and indeed it is with two female friends from work who shall be accompanying me. Eating may very well be cheating but it will be for the best – I don’t want to be sick over my lovely dress (or over them!). Initially I had wanted to go to a t-friendly bar/restaurant, but most of the ones I checked out were fully booked on the night in question. Looks like it has to be a normal bar/restaurant – a baptism of fire (well no actually, the whole first hour after coming out of the toilets will be the baptism of fire). Booking the table under my female name made me chuckle. Afterwards I’m hoping to end up in an area of Glasgow called the Merchant City which has several LGBT pubs/bars/clubs. There is one in particular I’d like to end up in as I hear their cocktails are spectacular.

Of course the issue of changing and commuting to town was put in place early on to enable the plan to built upon it. I shall change in work, bag up my man stuff and all three of us hop on a train for fpur stops. My man stuff will be deposited in Left Luggage for approx 4 hours and I aim to change for the journey home. At this point I must confess that I have not told my wife. There are still three things she doesn’t know and one of them is my occasional trips to the outside world. I do often consider imparting these last remaining secrets but then think better of it. It’s almost like I enjoy still keeping some of it for myself but also I know it could ruin things as they are. We have reached a rather comfortable stage I think, one in which we can have casual discussions about a skirt or she’ll recommend a foundation to me. I just need to be very careful but I always have been 🙂

See me shiver with antici……pation

I am filled with inexpressable joy. It turns out that I have a chance to dress again really soon. Must have been a month or two since the last time – so long I can’t remember exactly when. What I do remember is that it was only for a couple of hours one evening. This next dress date promises an empty house for just under 24 hours. A rarity indeed! As a result I have a half day booked off work and even plan to celebrate with the now annual event of removing the leg hair as well as the chest hair (low cut tops here I come). I’ve also found myself quietly planning outfits – I have some new ones you see. Some tops and a skirt from a ‘Christmas shopping trip’ I made with a friend from work. Recently I have also come into possession of a couple of dresses from one of my wife’s friends.They are both size 16’s so they are too big for my wife and there is something appealing about them I can’t explain. I wouldn’t have purchased them if I’d seen them in a shop but then I probably miss a lot when I’m browsing. I’m still a nervous soul deep down and my shopping style is perhaps a little furtive at times. The other reason that I’m pre-planning is that I would like to try having another little clearout. I know I have some things that still aren’t part of a definitive outfit so they have to go. Of course I’m saying that now but there are some things like a few of my skirts that I keep saying I’ll get rid of but don’t because I really like them regardless.

  

These days I have been selling my unwanted stuff on eBay so it means I can get a bit of cash from things like dresses, tops and even a couple of my old wigs. Though I mainly sell non-girly things like CDs, DVDs, books – I even sold a clock recently. I admit I can’t often find it in my heart to be ruthless when it comes to clothes and shoes. Even with ones that are holey and busted. Some of the band t-shirts I’ve kept hold of down through the years are in an unspeakably abominable state. Shoes as well, ones that are really worn down and holey – I tend to keep them for the summer months. The dry season.

Speaking of busted shoes and an extended dress date, both of these factors have previously met, or should I say collided in an unfortunate fashion. In January last year I’d treated myself to a pair of black knee high boots with a cuban heel. Finding decent cheap boots was tricky last year as my usual outlets had forsaken the heel. They were all selling perfectly decent boots but with no elevation. There needs to be a heel or I’m not interested. I managed to find a pair that met both standards of height and size (accomadating my biggish feet) for £10 in the sale at Primark. Trying them on at home, they fitted fine so I removed the tags and tossed the receipt. A week or so later when giving them their first proper outing, the zip on the right boot came apart in my hand. I was furious. That basically ruined my night though I sought to repair it as best I could. The wonder that is super glue eventually solved this problem. Luckily they both slip on alright without engaging the zip, especially when wearing hoes.

  

As well as planning outfits I also plan to just try and enjoy it while it lasts, even see if I can stay in character (such as it is) throughout – except when sleeping, that’s just silly! In the past I have managed around 6-8 hours in the evening on average. Sometimes there’s even a little overspill into the morning when I wake up. I’m looking forward to waking up with smooth legs. I only repeat it in the morning though if I know there’s time to do it and tidy up. Not that I’m really messy or anything you understand but just incase I’ve left something lying out. That’s a remnant of the past right there, a sign of my diligence. I was never caught out but came pretty close on a few occasions. I avoided it with stupendous luck that one time I became locked out. One other time I had left a box of my wife’s make-up out that I had been using. It was one that she didn’t really use much so she was confused as to why it was sitting on the bed. I hastily explained that I was tidying up under the bed and I had left it out to see if she still wanted it. She did want to keep them as it happens so back under the bed it went. In recent years such situations have more humourous potential. For instance, if I put any of Anna’s stuff in for a wash it can sometimes cause mild confusion. Black tights for instance did just that a few months ago. When we were sorting through all the dry washing separating it into bundles I noticed my tights (the only pair in the wash as it happens) going into my wife’s pile. I raised a polite objection and after a brief tete a tete she conceded I was right and we laughed about the absurdity of it.

I hope to post again soon and share any pics or stories from my dress date…providing of course they’re worth sharing

Dresses vs Guitars

The common code I use with friends when I’ve recently been dressing is that I had a visitor the other night. Although I suppose this implies a whole other person replete with uniquely different personality and voice etc it’s not strictly true. I change little inside, it’s mostly an external transformation. Years ago I was visited on a regular basis as I had a day off in the middle of the week, still one of my favourite aspects of my time in retail. These days it is more of a struggle as when the opportunity of an empty house arises. The fight between girly time and music commences in earnest. Though I must say that girly time is far more likely to win these days due to the rarity of such chances. There have been times when both co-existed. I can think of a handful of songs I’ve recorded over the years when I’ve been all made-up. I think those songs were probably invested with a little more passion as a consequence. It’s always something I wanted to combine properly at one point – my twin loves of cross-dressing and music. In my current band I have managed a watered down version of this though all I’m missing is a wig and make-up. I will generally wear a dress, tights and heels (sometimes a top hat too!). It’s a memorable image I feel and though it may put some people off I doubt they will forget the band with the dress clad singer. I defend it regularly as a talking point. My wife has come around to it though was for a while anxious as she feared the secret would be out but I’m pretty confident I’ve passed it as exclusively stage attire. I’ll admit though that a few folk who have been let in on the secret recently have gained entry through this but these are people I trust completely.

These are pics I took in July, I haven’t got a post to go with them so thought I’d just slip them in here;

 

An opportunity arose a couple of weeks ago for a visit and it was a morning session which is unusual. Previously in the week I had got a half day so I could go shopping, mainly for a new dress as I had a gig on the Saturday. Shopping is usually a rare event also so I made the most of that and went into all the shops I could – charity shops mainly. My gig dress plan is a desire to have a select few dresses only for gigs as at previous shows I’ve worn some that I really like. So I came to a decision that I want some I care less about to wear at such events. I found one on sale at Asda for £5. It was a 14 but I won’t be wearing bosoms with it so I can just get away with it (it is a small fight to don and remove). In Barnado’s, a local charity shop, I spied a nice top and a dress that would not look out of place on Kim Kardashian – 99p each. The top doesn’t fit so I gave it to my wife and the dress kind of does fit but I can’t zip it up. I can’t explain why I was drawn to it as it’s not my usual style but it intrigued me. I made sure I at least snapped a couple of pics of me wearing it. Interestingly my wife also took that item. She was trying on some dresses a few days later and I showed it to her. She too was drawn to it and was initially shocked as to how short it was on her but I pointed out that she looked incredibly hot. I neglected to add how erotic I found it that she was wearing something that was mine and was making it look good. Obviously it was actually made for a woman so it would look much better draped around the correct body shape. When I wore it I was trying out my new corset/waist cincher and control pants with hip pads so I was giving it a good attempt. I admit I was taken aback when I seen myself in the mirror – I’ve never achieved that shape before and I was most pleased. I had a waist!

 

 

In the few hours I had that morning I didn’t wear as many things as I normally would. I decided I would wear 2 of my least worn wigs (black and long red) and settle on something comfortable but mildly sexy. The mildly sexy part was taken care of with a white satin slip, black hold ups and a burgandy cardigan. Teamed with a long red wig it became most enjoyable. The pictures I was taking ended up taking a saucier turn than usual…

CD Hangover

I’m sitting on the upper deck of a double decker bus and I feel awful. The girl seated directly in front of me with gorgeous long red hair isn’t even filling me with cheer. I’m on my way to work, later than usual so I’m hemmed in with a lot of kids on the journey to their education. I’m down mostly because I had a good dressing session last night and this is my come down. Flat shoes, trousers and the daily commute. Last night I was wearing 3 of my newest dresses, including one that I had bought in a charity shop earlier on that day. It’s so pretty and I had got it for a good price because the belt holes were damaged. It was a really nice day actually, I went with a good friend from work who knows about Anna. We visited the Botanic Gardens in the West End of Glasgow and then had a wander around the shops. She purchased a really nice dress as well from a different store.

I had a good couple of hours and even managed to cook dinner and eat it during my session. I had to put a hair band in to keep the hairs at bay. When my wife returned I could see she wasn’t amused. Normally she is tolerant of this activity, could have been tiredness I’m not sure but last night wasn’t one of those occasions. I had to retreat, a defensive measure. From euphoria to despair, it’s funny how it makes you feel like that. It’s been a while since those feelings have crept in. I don’t think I deserve them. I don’t rub it in her face and I’m careful not to bring it up regularly as much as I’d like to discuss it. I’ve not talked about it enough and as a consequence am nowhere near at peace with it as perhaps I thought I was.

I’m not on the bus anymore, I’ve elected to continue on a bench near work. I often sit on this bench at break times. It’s not always peaceful as it’s near a car park and I’m invariably hassled for directions and I’m rubbish at doing that. Can’t play the ‘new’ card any longer. I wonder what the house will be like when I return this evening. We went to bed in silence. I hate that because I’m always up early and can never make proper amends in situations as I’m the only one up and about. Quite the opposite. I feel I need to creep about (and I must be an expert in creeping about right?). That usually means I’m on a downer for the rest of the day and sometimes beyond. So coupled with my CD hangover these are not the ingredients for a pleasant day. It’ll be a numb one. I’m struggling to find the motivation to return from my break. Full of doubts and self-hatred. I think returning to a room full of people I only moderately get on with is not the best idea but it sadly as inevitable as the tides.

 

Making a list, checking it more than twice

Keeping a secret can be tricky, not to mention at times downright tiring. I’ve kept many over the years though most are only temporarily withheld, like both of my wife’s pregnancies for instance. With them after several weeks you could eventually go ‘Ta da!’. My cross-dressing secret is not one of them and I’m guessing that’s the same for most folk with similar tranny tendencies. The fact that is so elicit adds to it for sure but I find it growing tiresome as I get older. You want to share it. There are open-minded people out there. I feel very fortunate  to count several amongst my friends. But who do you tell?

I made a provisional list in my mind around the time I confessed to my wife. Whilst some of the names came easily it soon became clear that it was simpler to compile a list of people I wouldn’t tell. I feel for me that’s a no-brainer, I’d place the majority of my family on that one. There is a part of me that would like to be able to confide in my sister but I happen to remember some previous conversations that she is rather down on trannies.

At present I have come out to a grand total of 10 people – no blood relations. I would consider all of them close friends. They are predominantly women so there’s only 3 of them who are men. In pondering my motives for this I concluded it’s partly so I can have conversations about style and fashion without being judged. I so want to join in these types of conversations because I feel like I’d be able to contribute to them and I’m a little sad that that’s one whole avenue of conversation that is blocked off. Where I work at present I am surrounded by women and I have no doubt this has somehow convinced me to open up a bit more on the subject, to a select few of course. I consider myself sufficiently close to a couple of ladies at work to invite them into this exclusive club. A club is exactly what it is and mine is indeed exclusive, though there are a few more people on the ‘pending’ list so we shall see.

The above picture is from during the week when I had an opportunity to dress but could not be bothered with make-up – but I don’t look too bad I think 😉