Dresses vs Guitars

The common code I use with friends when I’ve recently been dressing is that I had a visitor the other night. Although I suppose this implies a whole other person replete with uniquely different personality and voice etc it’s not strictly true. I change little inside, it’s mostly an external transformation. Years ago I was visited on a regular basis as I had a day off in the middle of the week, still one of my favourite aspects of my time in retail. These days it is more of a struggle as when the opportunity of an empty house arises. The fight between girly time and music commences in earnest. Though I must say that girly time is far more likely to win these days due to the rarity of such chances. There have been times when both co-existed. I can think of a handful of songs I’ve recorded over the years when I’ve been all made-up. I think those songs were probably invested with a little more passion as a consequence. It’s always something I wanted to combine properly at one point – my twin loves of cross-dressing and music. In my current band I have managed a watered down version of this though all I’m missing is a wig and make-up. I will generally wear a dress, tights and heels (sometimes a top hat too!). It’s a memorable image I feel and though it may put some people off I doubt they will forget the band with the dress clad singer. I defend it regularly as a talking point. My wife has come around to it though was for a while anxious as she feared the secret would be out but I’m pretty confident I’ve passed it as exclusively stage attire. I’ll admit though that a few folk who have been let in on the secret recently have gained entry through this but these are people I trust completely.

These are pics I took in July, I haven’t got a post to go with them so thought I’d just slip them in here;

 

An opportunity arose a couple of weeks ago for a visit and it was a morning session which is unusual. Previously in the week I had got a half day so I could go shopping, mainly for a new dress as I had a gig on the Saturday. Shopping is usually a rare event also so I made the most of that and went into all the shops I could – charity shops mainly. My gig dress plan is a desire to have a select few dresses only for gigs as at previous shows I’ve worn some that I really like. So I came to a decision that I want some I care less about to wear at such events. I found one on sale at Asda for £5. It was a 14 but I won’t be wearing bosoms with it so I can just get away with it (it is a small fight to don and remove). In Barnado’s, a local charity shop, I spied a nice top and a dress that would not look out of place on Kim Kardashian – 99p each. The top doesn’t fit so I gave it to my wife and the dress kind of does fit but I can’t zip it up. I can’t explain why I was drawn to it as it’s not my usual style but it intrigued me. I made sure I at least snapped a couple of pics of me wearing it. Interestingly my wife also took that item. She was trying on some dresses a few days later and I showed it to her. She too was drawn to it and was initially shocked as to how short it was on her but I pointed out that she looked incredibly hot. I neglected to add how erotic I found it that she was wearing something that was mine and was making it look good. Obviously it was actually made for a woman so it would look much better draped around the correct body shape. When I wore it I was trying out my new corset/waist cincher and control pants with hip pads so I was giving it a good attempt. I admit I was taken aback when I seen myself in the mirror – I’ve never achieved that shape before and I was most pleased. I had a waist!

 

 

In the few hours I had that morning I didn’t wear as many things as I normally would. I decided I would wear 2 of my least worn wigs (black and long red) and settle on something comfortable but mildly sexy. The mildly sexy part was taken care of with a white satin slip, black hold ups and a burgandy cardigan. Teamed with a long red wig it became most enjoyable. The pictures I was taking ended up taking a saucier turn than usual…

Clothes maketh the (wo)man…

I was thinking about clothes the other day, well, I often do. In particular the acquisition of women’s clothes when you’re not a woman.

I managed to get by for years on cast off clothes – the idea of going into a shop and actually taking them up to the counter horrified me. As a consequence I vividly remember the first item I bought in a shop for myself. It was a pencil grey wraparound mini skirt from H&M in Parkhead. £2 in the sale and it actually fitted me. I could never get a top to match so I didn’t end up keeping it and I don’t think there’s any photos of me wearing it. My wife periodically clears out her wardrobe and this was my main source of attire. I had a special fondness for one of the skirts I inherited this way as it was the one she was wearing when I met her. For a while this was one of my favourites. I suppose there is an added frisson with the second hand clothes because I know that an actual woman has worn them. It’s like they’ve been validated.

I tended to stick to the internet as it was a little bit more anonymous. The price paid for anonymity however was the occasional piece of ill-fitting clothing or dissatisfaction that it just didn’t look that good on. But the latter complaint can apply to shop bought clothes as well of course.

This ensemble looks fine but if you were to ask me to turn round you’d see that the zip on the skirt doesn’t go all the way up.

And sizing can be problematic as well, this dress here looks nice in the pic, but if I stood up you’d see how ridiculously short it is on me…

Before Christmas I had a rare solitary jaunt around the West End of Glasgow and came home with a grey dress I cannot categorise or adequately describe. I can’t get it to work with anything but I can’t seem to rid myself of it. Here it is, on the hanger…

One of my other early purchases and one that I still have and love is a pleated tartan micro skirt. It’s scandalously short and I love it! It was well worth the terror in TK Maxx  (£14.99 as I recall and it’s longevity is assured if I maintain a relatively svelte appearance). Here it is on the hanger…

and here it is in it’s prime (with added hooker boots)…

I did eventually grow braver each time, partly because I tend to stick to the same outlets; George @ Asda and Primark. Hopefully the turnover of staff in such places preserves what remains of my embarrassment. It was in Asda that I discovered heels that fit me. In man shoes I tend to be around 10 – 10 1/2 but I can get away with a 9 in woman’s shoes from George for some reason. I can understand women’s love for shoes. Presently I have 6 pairs (all black); mid heels, 5 1/2 inch heels, ankle boots, court shoes, knee high boots and a pair of ballet pumps.

That seems like a lot for someone who only occasionally wears them but I do like to have a wide choice. Obviously I’m mainly housebound so theoretically these shoes will last me for years and the wear on them will be quite negligible. The mid heels are the ones I usually plump for as they are rather comfortable. They’re not too high and I find I can wear them for hours.

Shoes were something I didn’t get until later on. As I recall I inherited a pair of what I can only term ‘hooker boots’ from my, at the time, fiancee. Her mother had got her a pair of black pvc knee highs with a block heel for a present one Christmas and she never really wore them. They intrigued me greatly and it was only a matter of time before I tried slipping my feet into them and zipping them up. By rights they shouldn’t have fitted me but for some reason they did. I would still have them now but wear and tear prevented this. The area around the zips developed a split that soon spread and eventually ruined them.

I loved my shiny black hooker boots.

Back to clothes…I mainly find myself in a skirt and top combination though I seem to have several dresses. Because of my manly shape I am a little limited in the ones I can get away with. A skater dress seems to be one of the more ideal types I can wear as it creates an illusion of a waist. That’s why I prefer skirt and top as certain skirts create that illusion too. I always intend to scale down my dresses but it’s so hard as some of them are really nice. Also if you were to peak inside my wardrobe you’d see that they were slowly taking over…

Anna’s taking up a good third of the cupboard these days (and that doesn’t include the ‘drawer’) but hopefully if you were to take my drawers full of T-shirts into consideration it wouldn’t look so bad!