Tag Archives: en femme

Annaburgh!

I’ve had a great week so far!

On Monday I was at the Queen Margaret Union, Glasgow University, for Spangled Cabaret. A fantastic line-up as always featuring Paul Puppet, Earnest & Wilde, Stephen Watt, Tom Harlow, Raven Rose, Brandy Montematre, Professor Cogsworth and Lacy Rain. Though not extremely busy everyone that was there clearly wanted to be there so a great night was had by all. The awesome Debbie McCall (AKA Galactic Carnival) was there too and snapped some photos of us all. This is one she took of me 😊

The legend that is Stephen Watt also gave me a lift home afterwards which is fantastic. It went on till after 11 and I would have got home at stupid o’clock otherwise. He also snapped a few pictures and took a short video as shown here.

Here are a few other pics I took after getting ready in a dark corner as everything else was locked (uni hasn’t started yet which would explain the sparse attendance…that and the Edinburgh Fringe more of which shortly).

On Wednesday I had a half day from work as I was going through to Edinburgh to do a little spot on a friends Free Fringe show. Natalie Sweeney Potter had kindly invited me onto the bill of ‘Funny Lassies’. I decided to make the day of it and justify the train fare. I got changed in work and headed straight for the train figuring it would save me doing it there and it means I could spend most of the day mingling with the crowds.

Apologies for the tartan spam! I just love this dress and I figured as I was heading to our nation’s capital I’d tartan myself up. I chose my knee high boots as they are comfy to wear for hours at a time.

I did a lot of walking as I had time to kill. Edimburgh is not recommended to be traversed in heels I should add and my calves are not happy with it. I’d say it was worth it though as overall it was a great experience and I didn’t once get any hassle. I popped into a few different places for a drink here and a bite to eat there without fuss. Possibly because at this time of year there are a lot of colourful folk about so maybe I kind of blended into the background a bit.

One of the highlights was bumping into a comedian I had the pleasure of sharing a bill with back in May, a chap called Obie. He was flyering for his show so I popped in to see that. Very funny guy indeed. Great crowd, nice intimate venue. Β£5 for a beer and a bourbon too πŸ˜‰

I had also arranged to meet up with Jenny Bside who is an entertainer mining a similar territory to myself. She is up from London to do a whole bunch of shows. Sadly I couldn’t catch her performance as I had to make the train and it was a long journey home. She stayed for mine though which was very kind indeed (plus she took these 2 photos).

Natalie wasn’t there as she took the night off but the Lady Shona and Lubna Kerr were. They were a couple of lovely ladies indeed and very funny too. It was a shame I wasn’t able to spend more time hanging out with them or be around in general. I had to get changed back to normal and hot foot it to the train station which was all up hill then down hill pushing past lots of slowmoving or inert people who conversely were in no rush at all πŸ˜„. I just caught a train after 9pm and after a change of train then bus I was in for about half 11.

I wish I’d taken more photos too – would have loved one with the castle in the background but I only managed one with Arthur’s Seat. Maybe I’d do it again but it would be ideal to have company next time as spending most of the day to myself was a bit tiresome. They could have carried one of my cases! πŸ˜„

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The Poet Ponders Her Next Move

Hello there! I do hope you are all well, I’m all sore from a gig last night. Not a poetry one sadly but a solo guitar and shoutin’ style gig. It’s been a busy old week rehearsing for that one so I’ve been more or less taking a break from the soul searching poetry nonsense. As I sort of hinted at in my last post regarding my Youtube channel, I did a special session last Friday where I filmed the remaining 7 poems that weren’t up so you can now view my full repertoire such as it is. It was a fun session and I really got into it as I haven’t really had much physical practice. It’s mostly all been going on in my head. A bottle of wine was consumed in the process helping me relax and fueling me to read all my remainder (I had only intended on reading my brand new one ‘Huff’).

 

 

Yesterday I also got to see the pictures my friend took. I look pretty awful in a couple of them but it’s because I’m in the zone mid sentence and so on. Also I really should have brushed my hair before I went on lol! So courtesy of GAK Photography here they are…

 

 

Next time I’ll probably wear a different wig! Not sure when that will be but I hope to arrange something before the summer. There are loads of spoken word nights in Glasgow so I’m also thinking of infiltrating one of them but the matter of where to change would present a minor problem πŸ™‚ In the meantime I’m just going to hunker down and expand the secret poem book as best I can.

One of the other things I did was join Instagram last weekend. I’ve met some colourful characters on that I can tell you! I really had no idea that you could send messages over it and so far they are the most irritating aspect. I’ve had to do a whole lot of blocking and declining I can tell you. I can be found under annasecretpoet – what else I guess?

Lastly I got a nice new camera during the week, a Canon DSLR. A rather complex beast but one I’m determined to master. Hopefully that means I can now provide high quality imagery in general from now on. The zoom is INCREDIBLE! I finally got to take a picture of the moon the other night and you can even make out the craters on it…

 

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I must fly now as it is nearly lunchtime and a mighty hunger has descended upon us!

Take it easy xxx

Cover girl at last!

I’ve been making an album on and off since July and I finally finished it last week. The tracksΒ areΒ all sequenced in order and the gaps between songs have been applied with maddening precision. The title and front cover however pose a tiny problem. The only idea I had for it months ago was to call it ‘B-Side Boy vs VHS Girl’ and have me facing off with my femme self on the cover. An audacious idea indeed and one that I attempted on Friday afternoon, moments before filming the video that I shared at the weekend. So far I’m going along with it and have even enlisted a friend (who knows about Anna) to help me knit the photos together as they will need a bit of work…

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Perhaps I’ll have a comic book style lightning bolt in the centre

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Unfortunately as you can see the light changed in the ten minutes or so it took to get ready after my man pics were taken. A new record, ha! In the main that is because I’m hyper-aware of how this could be construed by people I know who aren’t necessarily in the know. I deliberately did a sparse make-up job (eye shadow, lipstick and some powder), my least favourite wig and a gorgeous black dress. Given that I generally wear a dress, tights and heels on stage these days a wig and some make-up probably isn’t going to stretch folks imagination too far. I do wish I didn’t worry about how I am perceived but I just can’t help myself. Combining my twin loves of dressing up and guitars is something I’ve been wanting to do for years and at the time of writing it’s been two years – around the time of starting this blog actually. I’ll admit that both bolg and performing in a dress has helped me come to terms with it and accept myself a whole lot more. Having been able to share it in these ways and have a bit of a laugh with it has helped enormously too. I take my overall femme look and appearance seriously but only to a point.

So to put a version of my female self on the cover or not? I think I’m going to have to as otherwise I’ll be left with a fairly uninspired idea instead like these…

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Push my Dirty Button’

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‘Shadowy Bastard’

 

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The Orange is Watching Us All!’

I reckon I may just get away with it as it’s predominantly friends and acquaintances who will end up with copies of it. I don’t tend to mass produced them. Oops I’ve just convinced myself! When I get it all sorted I’ll share it with you if you like. It’s quite a strong set this time around; robust, edgy, humourous, emotional but not saccharine, playful, melodic, funky and rocking. I’m even planning to promote one of the tracks as a single and produce a shoddy music video to accompany it. Just need to decide now what combination of pictures to use on the front πŸ™‚

Raiders of the Lost Pics

Recently I discovered that my old MySpace is still there. I have no way of deactivating it as I no longer have access to the e-mail address I set it up with. It had been quietly sitting there gathering virtual dust all this time. I’m guessing it was around 2010 since I last logged in, the time of the last purge. Familiar faces greeted me from my Friends list but all posts and comments appear to have disappeared. I wonder what all those people are up to now and if they’ve abandoned their profiles for dead too. The reason I logged on was to have a look at some of my old pictures to see if they were still there. Indeed they were. I no longer have copies of them you see, having been overly careful down the years I would delete pics off the hard drive once I’d uploaded them. An idea I have been thinking over for some time is to sort out my Anna photo archive properly. From 2011 onwards I have a pretty comprehensive collection but the years prior to that are decidedly patchy. I had thought of maybe starting a Flickr account too. So I have somewhere to keep a back up but also have them on display for anyone who would appreciate them.

As often happens when you start looking at old photos I was transported back in time and thus lost track of it. I copied a fair few of them – not all though only the ones that looked okay. Some of them I had forgotten about and I cringed at some of the outfits and poses…

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I began to think again about why as crossdressers we photograph ourselves as we inevitably don’t get to share them much (god bless the internet). I suppose it’s not too odd because really as people we photograph everything we see, especially these days. We like to chart the progression of our lives and we like to remember. I’m particularly pleased with my archive, it’s pretty much a decade’s worth.

Pictures can also be incredibly powerful, funny, moving, thought-provoking and obtuse. Sometimes all at once. I happen to think the best ones are not always posed. I really like the pictures where the subject(s) are not necessarily aware that they are being photographed. No one else has ever taken a photo of Anna and I think I’d really like that. It would be terribly interesting to see how that would turn out. I’ve often wanted to ask my wife but have been too shy. When we did the now traditional Halloween Anna evening last night I wanted to ask but couldn’t find the right opportunity. I suppose I’m also a bit worried because when we were discussing my last post she remarked how I seemed to default to ‘sex kitten’ in them. It was a good point but that’s probably just because o my wardrobe choices. Put me in a cute skirt and heels I automatically bend or point my knees and turn my head to one side. I can’t help it 😄

I did take a few pictures before we settled down to watch a film. Ended up in that green dress I bought a couple of months back and I even accessorised!

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Hope you all had a great Halloween too! If I sort a Flickr out I’ll let you know X

Hard to Beat

It’s been a month now since Anna’s first night out on the town but it feels longer than that. Plans for a sequel have faltered in the early stages due to some of my friends deciding that perhaps they don’t really want to be associated with such an odd activity. I understand and have quietly and sadly shelved it for the time being. For now I find myself patiently awaiting the next opportunity to dress and I genuinely don’t know when that’ll be. Ordinarily that would make me feel a bit anxious as the days and weeks pass by but this time I feel different. I know I definitely want to do it and even have a few new things I can wear; a couple of dresses and a couple of new tops.

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Maybe the night out was a bigger deal than I previously considered. It wasn’t a standard dressing session by any means it was really full on, so it might be hard to top. I’d really like to involve my wife if I can – if indeed I ever do it again. Who am I kidding? Need to man up (well, woman up) and think positive about this. I could make it a Halloween night out, not really gone out at Halloween for years. The last time I think I went as Rimmer from Red Dwarf. That was 2003 and if I’m remembering correctly the original plan was for me to drag up. My wife, who was my girlfriend at the time had procured a long blonde wig from her friend. That was actually the main reason I changed my mind. I don’t see myself as a blonde and I didn’t like how she did my make-up. Obviously I didn’t tell her that, the excuse I gave was more along the lines of me chickening out. We would have had to get on a bus to town for around an hour (and returned afterwards as well). I also didn’t feel feminine enough. At this time I didn’t have much of a clothes collection, only some bras and knickers. No dresses, no skirts, no heels, no point. All my girlfriend had thought to bring was a top that said ‘Barbie is a slut’ on it. I ended up cobbling together the Rimmer thing really quickly as a last minute replacement, see getting that H to stay on my head though. A bloody nightmare! Anyway I’ve gone off on a slight tangent there, probably no point in worrying about it at the moment πŸ™‚

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Anna’s Alive!

So I survived intact after a night out as Anna. I’m not sure how to write about it but I do know I should keep it brief and vaguely interesting. I have read accounts of other people’s nights out and some have a tendency to overshare, delving into the minutae in excruciating detail.

This is how I looked after around 75 minutes of scrambling around in a work toilet…

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I think having someone else with me helped a great deal, the only real terror came when exiting the toilet and stepping out the main door. It was so damned windy and my hair immediately went to pot. I met my friend and we walked to the train station. On the way I was read by a couple of passing girls who screeched with what I can only assume was glee “tranneeee!”. That did make me chuckle. From then on though I was oblivious to any other such attention. In fact I feel I should thank everyone I came into contact with that night for not batting their eyelids and treating me as normal. Basically I just had to go for it and interact with people and it paid off. Having never really given Anna’s voice any thought prior to this, I thought it best to just speak a bit softer without being over the top scaling octaves like a mad man. It seemed to work.

We only had between 6 and 10pm to work with so we went to 2 places. First we had food at a place called ‘The Living Room’ and it was really nice and friendly. The waitress impressed me no end by asking ‘us ladies’ if we wanted a drink while we waited. Whilst there I also got to visit the Ladies Bathroom which has always been a mysterious place for me. I fixed my hair and make-up and a couple of other girls were taking selfies.

The next venue was a bar in the Merchant City of Glasgow called ‘The Riding Room’. Now this is defintely a place I’ll return to, in fact me and my friend are discussing the possibilities of this. I’ll try not to get too excited just incase. This was my first opportunity to go to the bar and I think I did alright. The barman even called me darling. In fact my friend was certain he was checking me out! Whilst there my boobs came a little undone so I had to visit the bathroom again to fix them – damn! On the way back up the stairs (for the toilets were downstairs) a man held the door open for me and said “after you hen” which quickly became another highlight. It was indeed sad to leave, though it could have got awkward as the place started to fill up with people and a couple of them I actually knew from the gig circuit. I curse myself now for not going over to say hello as they are arty types who would probably have appreciated the effort that went into such a transformation. Well that’s what I’m telling myself πŸ˜‰

Back to the station we trudged. I got my man bag from Left Luggage and we popped to the toilets so I could change. Funnily enough I got shouted at while I was at the mirrors by an attendant. “You’re not supposed to be in here” he said, but I assured him I was a woman 5 minutes ago and he didn’t have a problem then!

I had the luxury of an empty house when I got home so I decided to make the most of it and got dressed again (what am I like?).

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Really glad I went out and I can’t wait to do it all again and hopefully with a bigger crowd (and for longer). I feel so blessed that I have great friends that are more than happy to go along with my tranny tendencies, I wish everyone had that.

No Ordinary Debutante

With Anna’s social debut only weeks away the proper planning kicks in. For an average night out I hardly have to pre-think at all – well I am a man! An outfit, such as it is, will be picked at almost the last minute. This man outfit will most likely be a shirt and a coloured jeans combo which I have favoured in recent years. With Anna I feel I’m starting from scratch. Though I have to try hard to resist the temptation to buy loads of new things. Theoretically I don’t need a new jacket but I am keeping an eye out for one, preferably a black one that isn’t too long. The two jackets I have already both have their flaws, the hooded one particularly. Sadly that comfy number is cursed with sleeves that are a little short (or are my arms too long?). The long green one is fine but it’s Β£5 price tag was the chief motivation behind its purchase.

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I never envisaged going out for a prolonged period of time else I would have invested a little more thought into their purchase. As for what I’m wearing beneath the jacket, that is easier. From when the idea of a night out was first mooted I instantly thought of my long red houndtooth dress paired with black ankle boots. More or less the outfit I donned on my last expedition outside. In the last week I have been stocking up on some accessories plus I bought a purse and a bag (both from a charity shop). Also, my thoughts have turned for the first time to earrings. Not having pierced ears they never really occurred to me before. Bless you clip ons! I couldn’t decide between hoops or red diamante drop ones so I got both. They were both off of eBay and were relatively inexpensive. I also purchased some rings, a new scarf and something pretty to wear on my wrist. Did I forget to mention that I got a new wig as well? My brown one has been in faithful service for nearly four years now and up close does not look too healthy so replacing it had been on the cards for a while anyway. The plastic hooks that control the tightness disintegrated some time ago and it’s being held together by paperclips!

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Where should we end up? It will be after work and indeed it is with two female friends from work who shall be accompanying me. Eating may very well be cheating but it will be for the best – I don’t want to be sick over my lovely dress (or over them!). Initially I had wanted to go to a t-friendly bar/restaurant, but most of the ones I checked out were fully booked on the night in question. Looks like it has to be a normal bar/restaurant – a baptism of fire (well no actually, the whole first hour after coming out of the toilets will be the baptism of fire). Booking the table under my female name made me chuckle. Afterwards I’m hoping to end up in an area of Glasgow called the Merchant City which has several LGBT pubs/bars/clubs. There is one in particular I’d like to end up in as I hear their cocktails are spectacular.

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Of course the issue of changing and commuting to town was put in place early on to enable the plan to built upon it. I shall change in work, bag up my man stuff and all three of us hop on a train for fpur stops. My man stuff will be deposited in Left Luggage for approx 4 hours and I aim to change for the journey home. At this point I must confess that I have not told my wife. There are still three things she doesn’t know and one of them is my occasional trips to the outside world. I do often consider imparting these last remaining secrets but then think better of it. It’s almost like I enjoy still keeping some of it for myself but also I know it could ruin things as they are. We have reached a rather comfortable stage I think, one in which we can have casual discussions about a skirt or she’ll recommend a foundation to me. I just need to be very careful but I always have been πŸ™‚

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