Tag Archives: tv

Goodbye 2017

I’ll let you into a little secret…I blog in the bath! Have done for nearly 3 years ๐Ÿ˜„ It’s the only place I can feel sure to get an hour or so to blog undisturbed. Today is no exception – sorry about the mental image!

This will be my last post this year. I have been neglecting my page of late, partially as I feel the posts may become repetitive. My outings are mainly to my own shows and there aren’t always funny or notable tales to relate about them bar showing you what I wore or telling you who I played with. I counted a total of 38 Anna Secret Poet shows this year – it was 25 in 2016. That’s rather good I think. I’ve came a long way from skulking about the house for years yearning to cross the threshold and I’m so glad I finally did. Firsts this year include;

Anna travelling from Glasgow to Edinburgh by train plus wondering about the capital and sitting in a cafe to order food

Anna travelling from my home to town by bus (or getting on a bus in general, now I don’t use a ticket with photo ID ๐Ÿ˜‰)

Being touched inappropriately by someone taking photos at a show at McChuills who then never shared them…

There are probably more to list but at the moment that’s all I can think of. Making a lot of new friends and contacts is definitely the best thing. It has been a while since I last asked (well, begged) for a gig. More often than not they’re offered to me these days and I very rarely turn them down without good reason. Usually that reason is down to it being short notice like the last 2 I declined. There waa something like a couple of hours before commencement. That’s a shame but it was probably for the best.

I’ll always remember my first night out back in March 2015 Anna’s Alive. I organised it with a couple of friends from work and only one of them ended up coming. A lady callef Andy. I was good friends with her but lost contact with her a mere fortnight afterwards. She never returned my messages and a year later I had learned she’d died. Murdered by her controlling partner. That still makes me very sad and I doubt if I’ll ever get over that fully. As a tribute to her I regularly sing the song we wrote together ‘Bonus Sausage‘. I reckon she’d be very tickled to see that go down well like it usually does. She never got to see Anna in action.

At the beginning of December I took part in a photoshoot at the Britannia Panopticon with a host of other drag queens and kings. It was for DragOpticon promotional purposes and I only just received my individual shots the other day. The group shots will hopefully be unveiled at a later date. They were taken by the infinitely awesome Debbie McCall AKA Galactic Carnival.

I took some photos myself backstage which I shall share presently. It was a busy day for me that day actually. After the photoshoot I changed into a different outfit and hotfooted it to the underground to visit John and Tricia from the Well Happy Band as we had a gig in Edinburgh that night. That was also Anna’s first time on the tube too. Boy it warm down there ๐Ÿ˜„

I changed back into polka dots before heading to Edinburgh. It was a great gig actually – the crowd were well up for it! Martin Windebank took a snap or two of me inbetween setting up. I was well photographed that day for sure.

The next day I found some time to try on a couple of new dresses I’d gotten recently. One ended up being one of my most liked photos on Instagram and the other one takes me into another dimension!

The next gig was Dr Sketchy’s 10th Birthday. I just sang a couple of songs at that whilst some of the girls were posing. It was great fun and I went tartan at that again. There was official photography taking place but I doubt I’ll ever see any of that.

Next show was at the Flying Duck supporting Scunner and Spread Eagle. That was a great night! It’s always great to hang out with Paul Puppet and I’m grateful for being asked along. I did a whole set with backing tracks this time and went down a storm ๐Ÿ˜Š

Last gig of the year was a spectacular one! The Colonel Mustard Xmas Disco Ball at St Lukes in Glasgow, an old church renovated into a venue and restaurant. Beautiful it was. It was an all day event – the doors opened around 1pm I think. I was to be on early in the afternoon as part of the Spangled Cabaret segment before the bands went on. 

This is how I looked!

This is me posing with Colonel Mustard and his kids. Just before the photo was taken by the Dijancer he’d told his kids that I was coming home to be their new mother haha! ๐Ÿ˜„

I had problems getting my backing tracks to work but hobbled through anyway and received a great reception. The evening did go downhill on a personal level however…

…I drank too much I’m ashamed to say. You’d think I’d know my limits by now! I was sick all down my Star Trek dress and slipped away without saying goodbye out of sheer embarrassment. I was on a bus home by 8pm and I awoke in the morning to discover I didn’t have my handbag. I had lost it somehow between the venue and getting it home. My money, bankcards and hairbrush were all in there. What a pisser. Still not heard back from the venue so I’ve written it off. My pal Margaret said that losing your handbag at Christmas is a rite of passage for any woman so I’m looking at it like that. Lesson learned hopefully!

I already have 5 possibly 6 shows planned already next year and I can’t wait to get stuck into them. I hope you all have a fun and prosperous 2018! Cheers ๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’‹

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GAK Photography Photoshoot 15/7/17

On a rainy Saturday almost 2 months ago I did my first ever proper photoshoot with an actual photographer. Having mostly photographed myself for years, apart from the odd live show, I was really excited and it didn’t disappoint. The chap in question was Gary Knox who is a fellow Whovian and an up and coming photographer. You can check out his Facebook page here GAK Photography.

I was able to get dressed prior to leaving the house which was good as it saved us a bit of time. We were aiming to really only spend a couple of hours doing it as the weather was most disappointing – typical Scottish summer ๐Ÿ˜„. The location we agreed on was an area known locally as The Saltings down in Old Kilpatrick. It’s a local beauty spot and nature reserve and for the most part lies between the banks of the river Clyde and a long abandoned railway line. We started out at some old ruins next to the Forth and Clyde Canal just before Bowling Harbour. I posed in what I assume may have been a window or a door in its heyday.

We then decamped to a long wooden bridge a bit further along that leads you from the main path of The Saltings to the cycle path next to the Forth and Clyde Canal.

Our last port of call was on the banks of the Clyde itself on a beach underneath the Erskine Bridge. There lies what I can only assume is an old lookout post or bunker which sits askew upon the sand. I don’t know how long it has been there for exactly but it has been a source of curiosity for as long as I can remember.

The last couple of shots were taken up among some trees just a few feet away from the beach. Have you ever walked on a wet beach before in heels? It was difficult but amusing!

Annaburgh!

I’ve had a great week so far!

On Monday I was at the Queen Margaret Union, Glasgow University, for Spangled Cabaret. A fantastic line-up as always featuring Paul Puppet, Earnest & Wilde, Stephen Watt, Tom Harlow, Raven Rose, Brandy Montematre, Professor Cogsworth and Lacy Rain. Though not extremely busy everyone that was there clearly wanted to be there so a great night was had by all. The awesome Debbie McCall (AKA Galactic Carnival) was there too and snapped some photos of us all. This is one she took of me ๐Ÿ˜Š

The legend that is Stephen Watt also gave me a lift home afterwards which is fantastic. It went on till after 11 and I would have got home at stupid o’clock otherwise. He also snapped a few pictures and took a short video as shown here.

Here are a few other pics I took after getting ready in a dark corner as everything else was locked (uni hasn’t started yet which would explain the sparse attendance…that and the Edinburgh Fringe more of which shortly).

On Wednesday I had a half day from work as I was going through to Edinburgh to do a little spot on a friends Free Fringe show. Natalie Sweeney Potter had kindly invited me onto the bill of ‘Funny Lassies’. I decided to make the day of it and justify the train fare. I got changed in work and headed straight for the train figuring it would save me doing it there and it means I could spend most of the day mingling with the crowds.

Apologies for the tartan spam! I just love this dress and I figured as I was heading to our nation’s capital I’d tartan myself up. I chose my knee high boots as they are comfy to wear for hours at a time.

I did a lot of walking as I had time to kill. Edimburgh is not recommended to be traversed in heels I should add and my calves are not happy with it. I’d say it was worth it though as overall it was a great experience and I didn’t once get any hassle. I popped into a few different places for a drink here and a bite to eat there without fuss. Possibly because at this time of year there are a lot of colourful folk about so maybe I kind of blended into the background a bit.

One of the highlights was bumping into a comedian I had the pleasure of sharing a bill with back in May, a chap called Obie. He was flyering for his show so I popped in to see that. Very funny guy indeed. Great crowd, nice intimate venue. ยฃ5 for a beer and a bourbon too ๐Ÿ˜‰

I had also arranged to meet up with Jenny Bside who is an entertainer mining a similar territory to myself. She is up from London to do a whole bunch of shows. Sadly I couldn’t catch her performance as I had to make the train and it was a long journey home. She stayed for mine though which was very kind indeed (plus she took these 2 photos).

Natalie wasn’t there as she took the night off but the Lady Shona and Lubna Kerr were. They were a couple of lovely ladies indeed and very funny too. It was a shame I wasn’t able to spend more time hanging out with them or be around in general. I had to get changed back to normal and hot foot it to the train station which was all up hill then down hill pushing past lots of slowmoving or inert people who conversely were in no rush at all ๐Ÿ˜„. I just caught a train after 9pm and after a change of train then bus I was in for about half 11.

I wish I’d taken more photos too – would have loved one with the castle in the background but I only managed one with Arthur’s Seat. Maybe I’d do it again but it would be ideal to have company next time as spending most of the day to myself was a bit tiresome. They could have carried one of my cases! ๐Ÿ˜„

Festivals, Photoshoots and Eyebrows oh my!

As I have been too busy to post in the last couple of months I thought I’d have a go today at sorting that out. June and July were fun indeed! In the middle of June I was at Eden Festival – my first proper festival experience. In spite of it being a total wash-out I had a great time. I was down with The Well Happy Band and we played a total of 3 gigs over the course of the weekend. In non Anna circumstances I reckon the Eden weekend would have merited a whole post to itself but I shall move on.

My first proper hosting gig went without incident thank goodness. I compered Queer Theory at Nice n’ Sleazy on the 14th of June. Apparently it is the first time it ever ran to schedule in fact! I elected to not hog the limelight too long and let the other acts get on with it. I doubt if I’ll be asked back to do it again though as I don’t think I’m host material. The first photos are ones I took myself backstage.

These were some of the better photos of me that night as snapped by Martin J Windebank.

On the 24th of June I undertook one of my odder shows. It was at a nightclub called Victorias in Glasgow and it was a benefit gig for a lady to raise money to buy a prosthetic arm. I shared the bill with some of my favourite comedians; Kavita Bhardwaj, Natalie Sweeney Potter, Aaron Wilkie and Andrew Ogilvie. Unfortunately given the venue’s reputation as a nightclub a lot of folk didn’t turn up for the comedy part of the evening which commenced sometime after 9. Lack of microphone stand led me to shout all my words out to be heard over my amp. Amusing I suppose. This is one of the few usable pics I took that night after changing.

At the end of June a window opened up for me to do a little bit of dress-up at home which is increasingly rare these days. It enabled me to try out some new outfits I had acquired recently from an aunt and some charity shop excursions.

I enjoyed all those looks, especially with fresh shorn legs! But my favourite was a tartan skater dress that I picked up earlier that day for the princely sum of ยฃ2.49 โค

I loved this dress so much I elected to wear it for my first proper photoshoot which I had scheduled for the middle of July. This was to be with my friend Gary at GAK Photography, a Glasgow based photographer who specialises in cosplay shoots. We did it in a local beauty spot on a very rainy day but the results were mainly satisfactory. At this moment I have only had 2 edited pictures from the shoot and they are reproduced by kind permission below. When I see more I’ll no doubt share them incessantly!

Here are a few odds and ends from the dress-up session in my house to mop them up so to speak.

Over the last few months I have been working towards writing some new songs with the view to having an album out before Christmas. I have now amassed enough for an album and only need now record them in the appropriate fashion. I’ve also been enjoying trying these new songs out live at my last 3 shows at The Blue Chair, McPhabbs and The Project Cafe. In particular my new song ‘Eyebrows!’ has been going down a storm. To this end I decided to bring this forward as a single to promote ahead of my album. I recorded it on Friday evening and paired it with an outtake from my last Chairman Cow album called ‘P.S. Smell Me’.

Here is a link to download and or stream it completely free of charge! Anna Secret Poet – ‘Eyebrows!’ Also this is the cover art for it, I took it at McPhabbs. I was so excited to pose with this antique telephone!

Here are some photos from the last 3 gigs, all of them by me except the blurry action shot which I guess is by Fergus Mitchell.

I’ve a busy week ahead next week! 3 shows on Monday (Spangled at QMU, Glasgow University), Wednesday (Funny Lassies at Kilderkin as part of the Edinburgh Fringe) and Saturday (Pride at the 13th Note Cafรจ). Also I’ve a wee photoshoot on Saturday afternoon with Galactic Carnival that I’m looking forward to immensely. I hope to be sharing loads more photos again very soon ๐Ÿ˜‰

Anna Bru

I’ve been working on this off and on for a couple of months now but finally finished it last week. Even found time to make a wee video for it too so that if you’d rather not read it you can watch it instead!

So here’s my tribute to Scotlands other national drink ๐Ÿ™‚


‘Anna Bru’

Going to change my name to Anna Bru

The Secret Poet will no longer do

Such is my love for Irn Bru

– my downfall in a can,

I crave it in the morning after breaking my fast

Sometimes I think I glug it too fast

Besotted doesn’t cover it ya bass!

I’ll share it with no one,

Like nectar it’s sublime

It makes me love it more every time

Like an elegant but rusty sunrise

Dancing playfully on my tongue,

Glass bottle is best but it’s got to be freezing

The hit’s more intense is my reason

My poor teeth may disagree over time

And perhaps my belly will too,

It has to be ‘Barrs’ it must be said

None if this own brand shite instead

The one with the secret recipe

That only a few people know,

Sadly you no longer get your 30 pence back

So these days I stick to the multipacks

May the girders ever support my world

And maintain an exciting fizz!

The Imaginatively Titled Post 100!

Hello there and welcome to my one hundredth post. Who’d have thought that was even possible…I wonder what the other 99 were about! 
I didn’t write one after my last gig as there wasn’t much to say to be honest. That night was the drugs themed poetry and spoken word night. I had written something specially, which I may share at a later date, but I’m not sure I was any good to be honest. It was a disappointing turnout – even the person running it turned up after the appointed start time. I also took the opportunity to try out mostly new material but the response was lacklustre sadly ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

The look I rocked at that night can be seen above, sort of a cute librarian style. As there were meant to be a lot of folk reading the start time was early and supposedly rigid. I got away 30 mins early from work and actually got ready and was out the door in that half an hour. Perhaps I shouldn’t have bothered. I ended up leaving early and was home for just after 9pm. Actually who am I kidding…any excuse to cut about in the outside world in a cute skirt and boots!

With Halloween approaching and the now traditional dress up and watch a movie in the evening with my wife, a dressing possibility opened up two days earlier. That would mean I’d also be able to make a few more poetry videos as well as try out some new shoes and outfits. If I don’t get to do Halloween I won’t be upset as I did make the most of that chance. A lady in work had given me an orange dress with zips up the side a couple of weeks ago. It wasn’t too bad in fact it was quite comfy.

Also I dug out a rather cute top I haven’t worn for a couple of years and paired it with a black skirt I’ve become fond of. A comfy outfit to wear for my videos which I shall also share when I’ve edited them. 5 new poems including one I’ve been working on for a few weeks about my Irn Bru addiction…

I should point out that I’m wearing stockings as well. I plan to wear them at my next gig so was just rehearsing putting them on.

Also I found time to take a few Halloween style shots with some cheap vampire teeth. It’s my dodgy attempt at a sexy vampire!

Hope that didn’t scare you too much! Should’ve put up a warning or something ha ha 😄. The Prisma app has a special Halloween filter this week actually. It makes everything blood red and shit your pants scary so I processed those pics through it to see what’d happen.

Aah that’s much better. Hell on earth don’t you think? I better be going now, I hope you all have a fun and relatively safe Halloween. Until next time…it’s back into the closet I go!

I can’t breakaway!

This is just a wee post to share some footage from the Rio Cafรฉ gig I did some weeks ago. I knew someone was filming but didn’t expect to see the results any time soon.

The entirety of my performance of the Big Pig song ‘Breakaway’ is now available on Youtube for you viewing displeasure. If the title and band doesn’t sound familiar then know of it as the song from the beginning of ‘Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure’…which is also the closing track on my new album (hint hint).

For anyone who may have missed it here is also a gateway to the aforementioned album…

https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=652853821/size=large/bgcol=ffffff/linkcol=0687f5/tracklist=false/transparent=true/

Many thanks to Jon the Hat for filming, editing and ultimately putting it out there! He’s a cool guy who also makes his own instruments, here’s a link to his website http://www.haufcut.com/?m=1