Still Anna after all these years

I’m still performing a few times a month…

I’m still dressing for leisure every now and again…

And I’m still mostly loving life!

But underneath there are still doubts and niggles and dissatisfactions and situations to overthink. Too many to mention but cheifly amongst them was what happened on Thursday. I had to wrestle with a draft tracklisting of my new album. On paper it seemed great but the reality was not so great. Something wasn’t right and it put me in a massively awful mood for hours. It even prompted a poem…

But amusingly a couple of folk added 2 more verses to it that cheered me up a little 😄

In the end I was able to spot the problems which culminated in a slight reshuffle and the removal of a song. One other is coming off if I finish another couple of songs I’m currently toying with – a rap and a song called ‘Rum and Cheese’. It’s not like I haaaaave to finish it this week. I can afford to let it gestate but it’s just my artistic nature to want to launch stuff out constantly!

I’ve got a few more shows on the horizon in the next wee while. I’m playing Solfest again at the end of August, a new comedy night in town next month (I should probably nip those in the bud soon), a loca LGBT youth group have asked me to perform and do a talk in November, a possible birthday party around the same time and I’ve been invited to play at a friend’s wedding in May. A mixed bag to be sure! I played a normal rock gig during the week which is a rare occurance indeed and the kind of show I enjoy most. I didn’t look very good for it though…

I shouldn’t have teamed that hair with the outfit. It just looked awful – luckily there weren’t any photos taken by other people that night!

The last couple of weekends have gifted me a few hours to try on outfits at home which is nice. Here are a few of the better pics from last Sunday.

This very morning I was able to do it again so I elected to try out a new green skirt that my wife gave me. Initially it was difficult to decide on a top to go with it so I elected to team it with a grey jumper I haven’t worn very much.

Amusingly at one point I was photobombed by my cat Gozer!

I have many more photos from the last month that I still need to remember and share. Hopefully I can work them into other posts over thr next while 😘

In the Garden of Eden

I’ve been super busy since I last posted here and I’ve been meaning to update for over a month. At the start of June I went to Eden Festival again, this time to perform with the Well Happy Band and as Anna which was very exciting. I was there from Thursday till Monday so it was tiring but well worth it. On the Thursday, Alaine and Janine who inaugurated the band were running an open mic spot at the Melodrome Mobile Stage. This stage was where I spent most of my time. It’s in a beautiful forest clearing off the main track but worth the trek if you find it. The band closed the night but I actually got to do a few songs as myself which technically I haven’t done for a long time. I went by the name Chairman Cow which is a persona I have all but ditched by now.

L-R – Colin Syme, John & Tricia Gordon and me

That’s me playing bass on the far right!

It wasn’t till after midnight that I got to pitch my tent, under a tree in an area behind the stage. The Melodrome folk had their own private camping space with a kitchen and chillout area so I wasn’t alone. In the morning I had a shave and got all dolled up. Short blonde hair and denim shorts – oh yeah!

I took these as I wondered the site on Friday morning. My bandmates were probably still sleeping at the time. I took the opportunity to take photos with my digital camera too around the perimeter of the Melodrome.

I got to spend the whole day as Anna – possibly the longest I’ve ever spent. I had 2 slots at the Melodrome (plus one with Well Happy in a place called Bob’s Back Passage). There aren’t many photos that I know of as yet but Beverly Pearson took some and I’d like to share them here.

I look like Kurt Cobain lol!

This is another one that Beverly took and the man on the right is my best and oldest friend Colin Syme. He’s the keyboardist in the legendary ‘Colonel Mustard and the Dijon 5’ and was the bass player in my first band Guavara and my last Les Grandes Horizontales. I miss playing music with him!

After my first set I had a costume change, a mustard vest top with giraffes on it and a denim skirt…

Much better! It was so warm so it was nice to get a bit of a breeze. Also this marked the first time I was outside with a skirt and no tights. It was brilliant 😊 My second set went okay but it less well attended than the first one. I hung about afterwards to catch ‘Donut! Formerly known as Eating Disorder’. They were fantastic, marred only by the constant attack of midges. I had so many bites on my arms, torso, legs and bum come Monday! 😄

On the Saturday I was due to make another appearance at the Melodrome as part of Spangled Cabaret. Also on the bill were Paul Puppet who was hosting, Dharma Geddon, Alana Duvey, Gabriel Featherstone, The Great Aziz, the Golden Empress and Luki.

Photos courtesy of Paul Puppet ❤

I had my TARDIS dress on and I posed for one or two photos backstage before the show although only one of them was useable…

I was billed last so patiently waited around enjoying everyone else. When my time came I found we were running behind and I could extend my set. The joys! How it was not to be ☹ One song down I started ‘Tits of Steel’ only to have the plugs pulled shortly after. A massive thunder and lightning storm had necessitated the power being shut off for the entire site. As we were in a wooded area we had to evacuate immediately for safety reasons! Massive bummer…it put me on a downer for a few hours as I wasn’t able to go back on. I got changed back into man clothes which I reget now as that meant Anna’s festival was over. The upside was that the remaining 2 nights were spent in relative comfort. Gone was the tent and into Alaine’s comfy motorhome I went. Hopefully I get asked back next year!

Busy Anna

I don’t think I’ve done a proper post in a few weeks so I’m going to attempt it now whilst sharing some more pics. March is a busy month for me performance-wise. I have 6 Anna gigs in total and that’s me done 3 already. The first one was a hotly anticipated Bowie tribute night I participated in for Cabaret Against Cancer and that was fantastic. I shared a bill with some incredible and glamorous folk that night I can tell you. It was ran by Tom Harlow and Kim Khaos under their Glitter & Grind Revue moniker and also featured Paul Puppet (who also compered), Jack Squat, Markee De Saw & Bert Finkle, Amber Skyline, Raven Rose, Tootsie Annie, The Great Aziz, Jakob Martyr and The Drag Queens of Glasgow who included Alana Duvey, Dharma Gheddon, CJ Banks, Lacy Rain amongst others. In the end I believe we raised just under £600 which was to be split between 3 cancer charities. I didn’t get to sing unfortunately but I did get to write a Bowie poem which I shared the other week and can be viewed here What’s Your Favourite Bowie?

My look was a grey t-shirt with sequined stripes, black flat panelled skirt, black platform boots and a red wig.

I changed into the platform boots when I got to the venue, obviously 😄.

Top photo was by Jamie McFadyen and bottom pic was by Steve Kinnon.

I even got to join in on the finale which was a rendition of ‘Starman’. Knowing I wouldn’t get to bring an actual instrument I cheekily brought a maraca with me so I’d have something to do…

The week after the gig I returned to an idea I’d had a few times before about printing a little pamphlet of some of my poems. A lot of them had been typed up already so it wouldn’t take an enormous effort to corale them together. During the week I set to work. I cobbled together a cover image, proof-read the poems so there weren’t any embarrassing spelling mistakes, printed them as an A5 booklet on two sides of the paper then stapled it all together. I ran off 30 copies which may seem optimistic but I reasoned I could recycle any that didn’t sell. Oh yeah I planned to sell them for £1 if I can. I called it ‘Vicious Fruit’.

The next gig was a night at McChuills again and it wasn’t very good. It’s primarily a rock venue and there was a birthday party in that night so it was rather doomed as far as spoken word goes. I felt sorry for the comedians – at least I had a guitar. I forewent poems and went straight to songs throwing in a raucous cover of ‘I heard it through the grapevine’ for good measure in amongst my normal nonsense.

A few days before, my phone died and I made do with a dubious tablet bequeathed from my mother. I used that to take the grainy images of my outfit you see below this sentence.

I left before the end as I’d had a long day with no lunch or dinner…unless you include cider as dinner! I had to retain energy for the next gig which was the very next night. Thankfully I was able to procure a new phone and recommence social networking activities as normal. Also the camera on the phone is especially good quality. Particularly so when you flip the lens round for Selfie Mode (yes it’s actually called that!).

The gig was at the Western Baths Club and was ran by Scott MacPherson as part of the Glasgow Comedy Festival. This venue was the scene of an unfortunate heckling incident when a woman stopped me during my ‘Let’s Dance’ cover to tell me that what I was doing was a disgrace to the memory of a great artist and I should be ashamed of myself 😄. Also on the bill were Gabriel Featherstone, Kavita Bhardwaj, Natalie Sweeney Potter, Fergus Mitchell and Craig Dolan. Apparently the Bowie incident from last November was a talking point for weeks afterwards. Scott referenced it by wearing a t-shirt of David Bowie with his finger on his lips as if to say “shhhhhh”.

That gig was a lot better! I got to close and end the show which was nice. I do it again in a fortnight which should be interesting…I do hope I can find more material to bring. The second half was funny in particular as it was more improvised. It was called Comedy Lotto. There were a load of numbered balls  and random picking of subjects to talk on, much like ‘Mock the Week’ or ‘Whose Line is it Anyway?’ sort of thing. Incidentally I sold 5 copies of my pamphlet at this gig so I was well pleased. They cost nothing to produce so I’m in profit already 😊.

Another week till my next one which is a horror inspired cabaret at The Blue Chair hosted by Gabriel. It’s called Shoggoth! Hopefully I’ll get off my arse and come up with something entertaining to bring along X

Arty Anna

It’s been a funny few weeks since the Drag-Opticon gig. I think it’s because I have a lot on in March that I may be becoming anxious about it. I pulled out of a gig the other week at the last minute. It was after work and I’d just finished getting changed to go to the venue and upon looking in the full length mirror I did not like what I saw. Cue a massive crisis of confidence which culminated in me clambering back into my drab clothes and sitting on the floor propped up by the door. I don’t know if it was my choice of outfit, the hair and make-up, my loss of faith in my material as it was a comedy night I was appearing at. It could have been all of the above. Suffice to say the homing instinct kicked in and home I went. I only managed one picture from that session and here it is, I don’t like it that much but I guess it’s relevant to this particular situation.

Matters improved for my next appearance which was 4 days later. This performance took place at ‘Dr Sketchy’ in Stereo, Renfield Lane, Glasgow. It was unusual in a number of respects, the first being that it was at 1 in the afternoon, it was a paid gig and that it involved life drawing! Usually they have burlesque dancers and folk like that and the idea is that you do your act then you pose for the audience to draw you. Tremendous fun but also challenging. I’m not terribly great at staying still but I managed fairly well. It was so warm under those lights. I think I did 4 poses in total; one where I stood holding my guitar, one sitting down reading a book, one with me holding an opened umbrella and another where I lay on a blanket propped up against the back of the stage.

I think Nicola, the lady running the show took this one during my first pose. Here are a few pics showing how I actually looked. If I do say so myself I reckon I looked a lot better than my previous attempt.

Sadly I never got to see any of the drawings, I was hoping people would share them to the Dr Sketchy Facebook page but to no avail. It was also a first in that I shared the bill with a pair of life models. A married couple from the USA who seem to be travelling about the place, seeing the sights, appearing naked in the basements of bars for strangers to draw them. If I was wearing a hat I’d take it off to them! I had brought a sketchpad with me so I could join in so I relished the opportunity to give it a try. They did 6 poses I think and I drew them all but only one or two turned out well enough to share.

I’ve never drawn naked people before. I always prefer drawing animals or things as I find the human face particularly difficult – lips especially. Luckily the lady had wild hair that more often than not cascaded over her face and made it a bit easier. I’d definitely love to go again sometime!

A new wig arrived last week too so that was more than a bit exciting. It’s very close indeed to the shade of red I’ve been seeking for several years. For the benefit of non regular readers of this blog I shall briefly explain that I have long been trying to find a suitable replacement for my first brilliant wig. A gorgeous long auburn one with prominent bangs. This one doesn’t have the fringe but the shade is almost the same.

It’s bloody tight though haha! I must have a big head though to be fair. Next gig is ‘Ashes to Ashes’, a cabaret tribute to David Bowie at the Polo Lounge on the 1st of March. I’ve been asked to provide a special Bowie poem which I have been dutifully working on for the last while. It’s more or less done and probably just needs a wee touch-up. Here is the poster for it, it’s very smart indeed!

Dick Pic

‘Dick Pic’

Sometimes my inbox is a scary place

Sometimes there are pictures – but not of a face

Or kittens or vegetables or castles or palaces…

But raging stonners and laughable phalluses!

A dick pic is not going to win my affection

I don’t care if you can achieve an erection

Everyone’s braver behind a mobile phone

I doubt if you’d be so cocky if we were alone

Cassette Glam!

This post is just a short one, really just an excise to show off some pictures I took today. My friend Deedee gave me a dress before Christmas. It was one that didn’t really fit her and she thought that I may want it. It’s not my usual style but I may have found a way to wear it.

Yesterday I bought a radio cassette player second hand. A proper 80s one! I’ve been on the lookout for one for a while as I still make the odd mixtape and it means I can now play them whilst cooking dinner and dancing badly. I had an idea this morning for a photo opportunity with the tape player and the dress. There wasn’t long to capture it as I had a bunch of other chores to do but I got a couple of good shots that I can maybe use as press shots or whatever.

Firstly, some pics of the dress…

At this point I switched to my DSLR as I prefer to use that. It works better for indoors…

Enter the cassette…

This next shot is my most favourite one!

Then I decided to try a few sitting down…

I’m really pleased with how they turned out especially the ones with the flash. I wouldn’t normally use it but it helped the glittery bits stick out 🙂

Sinister winking, Jesus as a woman and looking to the future in general

Sometimes I hate having to title things, I may come back and change this at one point retroactively. I actually did that with my first four posts as I had originally only given them dates as names. They were even harder to name as they were almost themeless ramblings – I say almost as crossdressing was the main unifying theme.

Well I’ve had a few more outings since my last post proper. One of those was as an extra in a Black Doves music video being filmed partly at the Rio Cafè in Partick. The story was set in the sixties so I donned my wig with prominent bangs and wore a polka dot dress…

This was another after work activity so I got dressed in my usual toilet and popped along for a few hours. I had to stop off in a nearby Sainsburys to pick up makeup wipes so that was officially Anna’s first shop visit. Damn the lighting is unforgiving in those places! Amusingly I also passed a couple of folk from my work on the main road. One clocked me and the other didn’t. The lady who did was full of compliments the next day which did brighten the otherwise tired and hungover morning I was to have afterwards.

Aside from the band themselves and some of their friends I was joined by singing sensation Violet Duff who looked amazing as usual and a very dapper looking Paul Puppet. He is the vocalist in a band called ‘Scunner’ of whom I’ve had the pleasure of playing alongside a few times over the years. He is also the man behind Spangled Cabaret and therefore the first person to give me a chance. What a guy!

The next gig I had was on Saturday the 17th of December at the Sinister Wink. It was awesome to once again be guests of The Creative Martyrs at the Bungo in the southside of Glasgow. Also joining me was Miss Innocence Bliss, one of my favourite burlesquers and a lovely person to boot. I learned a Christmas song as it was technically a Christmas gig. I don’t normally do festive songs but one of my exceptions to the rule and ticker of obscure boxes is that old Go Go’s classic ‘I’m gonna spend my Christmas with a Dalek’. It’s a real song honestly, it’s from the sixties at the height of Dalekmania. Gabriel Featherstone popped along too which was cool, he’d brought along his friends Chris and Boo too. Whilst I was chatting to them upstairs before the show a lady from my work arrived with some friends for a drink. Instictively I waved over and she eventually realised who I was – I often forget I must look so different all dressed up. We had a lovely brief chat and she joined her friends again.

As you can see I went for that Mrs Claus that I did last year when I had a little Christmas shoot. A couple of other people took photos. This next one was by Emma Fork.

A lady called Ruth EJ Booth took a few crackers too and she has kindly allowed me to share them here :).

A great gig overall. I did my usual mixture of poetry and music and generally had a ball. Thinking to myself that that was me until New Year. Wrong! On the Monday I received a wee message from Dean from Black Doves about doing a turn at the last Queer Theory of the year on the Wednesday. To me that was a no brainer as I’ve been loving the whole being offered gigs thing these days. There have been a couple I’ve sadly had to turn down but that’s not bad considering how many I’ve said yes too.

I met my friend Deedee for dinner upstairs in the venue before the gig. Nice n’ Sleazy was the place, a Glasgow stalwart, one of the few. I just had chips I must confess as I was being a cheap ass. It was compered as usual by the incomparible Callum MacLeod. Joining me on the bill were Kavita Bhardwaj the comedian (and a good pal of mine these days), Ruby Waters (a brilliant drag artiste – one of her acts was ‘Alien’ themed and saw her dress up as Ripley!), Boris Gay (not sure how to describe Boris Gay but I thoroughly enjoyed her), the Black Doves (who brought some sparkle as usual) and Zyna Hel (who was sonically mesmerizing and gorgeous to behold in equal measure).

I snapped these pics backstage. They turned out okay actually, there was a wee ledge I could rest the phone on to do so. Someone was taking pictures so hopefully I’ll get to see them in the new year. It was getting late and Deedee offered me a lift up the road which I duly accepted. She dropped me off at a roundabout 15 mins or so from my house. She wasn’t local so I didn’t want to bamboozle her with directions. Also she gave me a dress which she had purchased recently that didn’t fit. Walking up the hill to my house in heels with a guitae and suitcase is not something I want to repeat any time soon I can tell you!

Queer Theory Photos

This is a follow up to my last post as since then I very gladly received 15 high quality images from Dean Darkie Cargill of Black Doves fame from my last gig. Photos were taken by a friend of mine, a very talented chap called Martin J. Windebank. It’s rare for me to have photos of Anna taken by someone else and the fact that they are great images makes them even more special…

Then I switched to the guitar after the poetry as I often do…

I really love the one shot from below when I’m in motion. Cracking stuff! I also found myself lurking in a couple of other photos. This next one is me with my friend Deedee and her friend Emma…

That’s a blurry one of me laughing my head off at something. The blonde lady on the far right is Tom Harlow who put on a showstopping performance that night as his alter ego Harlow.

Some footage from my last Spangled gig has surfaced on Youtube also, courtesy of Jon the Hat. It’s basically footage of my 3 songs from that night; 13 Stone’a’luv, Bonus Sausage and Catch the Tiger. Here’s a handy link to view it xxx

Also excitingly it seems I’ll have 2 gigs before years end, a Christmas cabaret with The Creative Martyrs as well as the New Years comedy night I’m doing. I’ve also confirmed my first proper drag show appearance at the end of January. Dragopticon at the Brittania Panopticon, which is the oldest surviving music hall in the world. A very interesting historical place! Originally closed in 1938 but reopened in recent years still in the same state as when it closed, hermetically sealed. I’ve been meaning to go for ages so now I have a definitive excuse :).

Surprise gig joy!

As you all know I’ve become very busy of late! My inability to say ‘No’ is very strong indeed…except for a cabaret I was offered on the 2nd December which I had to turn down for practical reasons. I’m attending a wedding reception and my wife may very well kill me if I do the gig instead 😄.
This past Wednesday I was intending on attending Queer Theory again which I had last played in June. It was a fab night and I wanted to make sure I popped along again in an audience capacity as I’d missed a few crackers in the intervening montha. One of my friends Deedee was meant to be going too so I promised I’d meet her there. I advertised it as such on Facebook as I was looking forward to it. Most excited was I to then receive a message asking if I wished a little 10 minute slot as someone had pulled out! I managed to scrape a wee set together and had to make do with the decrepit guitar I usually leave in work but I set off in high spirits.

Compered by the highly irreverent Callum McLeod I shared the stage with some sensational folk again! A.Crow, (on top form, I’m a big fan of her words) Harlow (spectacular as always), Gabriel Featherstone (such a funny guy – I wish he did a full show one time), Black Doves (who were astonishingly brilliant this evening) and The Three Gentlemen (who were it seems from the future and a perfect way to end the evening).
A large number of photos were taken by a chap I know called Martin Windebank and I look forward to having a peek at those soon. I shall some when I get them – he has a fantastic eye so he does. I don’t get many ‘action’ shots but I’ve a feeling he’ll have captured some keepers.

Twenty gigs down – another milestone!

…or is a mill-stone?

I’ve been a very busy bee in the past 10 days as I managed to clock up another 4 appearances. All memorable in their own way and the overall experience has made me question it all again. I am enjoying it there are no quibbles as far as enjoyment is concerned but I’m not really sure I can keep it up. Anna taking over my performance life has been both blessing and hindrance. I have met a whole bunch of new friends and plus done things I never thought I’d ever do, mainly involving being out in public regularly en femme. It has relegated my ‘man side’ a bit though and I’m frustrated at not being able to have completed many new songs this year. I can count 2 since last November. That may change as I have been given the opportunity to join a band as purely a musician and not a frontman. The idea of being a tad anonymous appeals greatly just now.

The Glasgow Festival of Burlesque gig was fantastic. Probably my favourite of the four which is nice as it’s the one I’ve had booked the longest. Some great cast members including Talullah Belle, Tootsie Annie, Nymph O’ Maniac, Trixie Whipp, Tom Harlow, Raphael Risky…annoyingly there are 2 ladies whose names I did not note but when I find out I’ll amend this accordingly. All hosted and ran by the unstoppable Roxy Stardust! Here’s a grainy pic of us enjoying complimentary cocktails. Roxy took it with her new selfie stick.

I only took a few pics myself before heading out. It would have been ace to have gotten some pics with the ladies but at least there are a few photos of the curtain call which were subsequently shared on Facebook.

I should point out that I changed when I arrived at The Riding Room, into black stockings, suspenders and glittery heels ;). I changed my planned route to the gig also and got off the train a stop early. Just thought I’d take a stroll through George Square and feel the wind on my legs briefly.

My friend Deedee came along with her sister and they took a few snaps which I’m pleased to share!

The next gig was at the Western Baths Club two days later. Apparently it’s the second oldest baths in Europe and as it’s title suggests it’s a members only club. This night was called the ‘Comedy Cake Showcase’ and was ran by Scott McPherson and compered by Kavita Bhardwaj. It’s great to share a stage with these folk again, Gabriel Featherstone was there too as was Natalie Sweeney Potter, Iain MacDonald and published crime writer Chris Dolan who read extracts from his recent novel.

I was on last and folk enjoyed my act to the extent that one last song was demanded! I gave them ‘Let’s Dance’ by David Bowie and as I had just finished the chorus and began verse 2 a woman appeared in front of me informing me that what I was doing was an insult to the memory of a great artist and I should be ashamed of myself. Now I wasn’t expecting that! Cue pandemonium and chaos as everybody else in the room disageed vehemently. I wasn’t upset, more angry as I dearly love and miss David Bowie. I reckon he would have taken a dislike to this woman too. She was asked to leave I understand but the night kind of ended on a downer. Well it would have done had it not been for the amazing moral support from my peers and loads of random hugs and kind words from bewildered attendees. Also sold a few CDs – they’re supposed to be free!!

The next day I attended a friends wedding which was a lovely day all round. Fatigue began to creep in a little at this point. The day after that I was shaving and slipping into another dress. Back at Spangled Cabaret my spiritual home but in a new venue. A bar called Dukes in the Yorkhill district. From the moment I walked in I could tell I’d love the place. Electronica, jazz, funk all mixed up on the playlist. I got changed in the Gents this time which was an amusingly cramped experience.

A great night and a fantastically intimate venue. It was especially nice to see Violet Duff again, a very lovely and talented lady indeed. Overseen by the puppet master himself Paul Puppet who in particular did a great tribute to the late Leonard Cohen. Also on the bill were The Guru (wondrous and amusing in equal measure), Lala (awesome acapella) , The Creative Martyrs (sublime as ever), Innocence Bliss (who gave an approaching customer quite an eyefull right up against the glass front door!) and Laydee Rocket (whom I have yet to find the appropriate words to describe).

I’d definitely love to play there again, hopefully one time next year…

The last gig of the four was my twentieth Anna Secret Poet appearance. It was an odd one too. A return to McChuills in Glasgow for a heady mixture of music, poetry and comedy. I got changed at my sisters this time as there wouldn’t be a suitable place at the venue. I took the opportunity to take a couple more pictures during the transformation process.

The journey itself was uneventful. No doubt folk stared but I was none the wiser really. Even took a couple of pictures waiting for and then aboard the train.

I look dead happy don’t I!! 😄

The gig itself was okay but I probably didn’t ‘feel it’ if I’m to be honest. The gig was ran by Robert Winning and a chap known as LJ.  It was great to see Kavita and Scott again plus there were some great comedians on the bill including Scott the Redman Redmond, Christopher KC and John Callum Carruthers. There was another poet and she was called Mary Nicolson. Apparently it was her first gig and she was really good. Her stuff was short and to the point. I made a hash of trying to talk to her though but perhaps we’re on completely different wavelengths. There were musicians too; Scott Wishart, Rose City Blues and Bunker Monkey. I didn’t stay till the end as I knew a bus home on a Saturday would take an age so I set off in search of the elusive bussy beast.

What’s next? A gig on New Years Eve which I confess to be kind of losing love for conceptially. A little break might restore my verve we shall see.