Festivals, Photoshoots and Eyebrows oh my!

As I have been too busy to post in the last couple of months I thought I’d have a go today at sorting that out. June and July were fun indeed! In the middle of June I was at Eden Festival – my first proper festival experience. In spite of it being a total wash-out I had a great time. I was down with The Well Happy Band and we played a total of 3 gigs over the course of the weekend. In non Anna circumstances I reckon the Eden weekend would have merited a whole post to itself but I shall move on.

My first proper hosting gig went without incident thank goodness. I compered Queer Theory at Nice n’ Sleazy on the 14th of June. Apparently it is the first time it ever ran to schedule in fact! I elected to not hog the limelight too long and let the other acts get on with it. I doubt if I’ll be asked back to do it again though as I don’t think I’m host material. The first photos are ones I took myself backstage.

These were some of the better photos of me that night as snapped by Martin J Windebank.

On the 24th of June I undertook one of my odder shows. It was at a nightclub called Victorias in Glasgow and it was a benefit gig for a lady to raise money to buy a prosthetic arm. I shared the bill with some of my favourite comedians; Kavita Bhardwaj, Natalie Sweeney Potter, Aaron Wilkie and Andrew Ogilvie. Unfortunately given the venue’s reputation as a nightclub a lot of folk didn’t turn up for the comedy part of the evening which commenced sometime after 9. Lack of microphone stand led me to shout all my words out to be heard over my amp. Amusing I suppose. This is one of the few usable pics I took that night after changing.

At the end of June a window opened up for me to do a little bit of dress-up at home which is increasingly rare these days. It enabled me to try out some new outfits I had acquired recently from an aunt and some charity shop excursions.

I enjoyed all those looks, especially with fresh shorn legs! But my favourite was a tartan skater dress that I picked up earlier that day for the princely sum of £2.49 ❤

I loved this dress so much I elected to wear it for my first proper photoshoot which I had scheduled for the middle of July. This was to be with my friend Gary at GAK Photography, a Glasgow based photographer who specialises in cosplay shoots. We did it in a local beauty spot on a very rainy day but the results were mainly satisfactory. At this moment I have only had 2 edited pictures from the shoot and they are reproduced by kind permission below. When I see more I’ll no doubt share them incessantly!

Here are a few odds and ends from the dress-up session in my house to mop them up so to speak.

Over the last few months I have been working towards writing some new songs with the view to having an album out before Christmas. I have now amassed enough for an album and only need now record them in the appropriate fashion. I’ve also been enjoying trying these new songs out live at my last 3 shows at The Blue Chair, McPhabbs and The Project Cafe. In particular my new song ‘Eyebrows!’ has been going down a storm. To this end I decided to bring this forward as a single to promote ahead of my album. I recorded it on Friday evening and paired it with an outtake from my last Chairman Cow album called ‘P.S. Smell Me’.

Here is a link to download and or stream it completely free of charge! Anna Secret Poet – ‘Eyebrows!’ Also this is the cover art for it, I took it at McPhabbs. I was so excited to pose with this antique telephone!

Here are some photos from the last 3 gigs, all of them by me except the blurry action shot which I guess is by Fergus Mitchell.

I’ve a busy week ahead next week! 3 shows on Monday (Spangled at QMU, Glasgow University), Wednesday (Funny Lassies at Kilderkin as part of the Edinburgh Fringe) and Saturday (Pride at the 13th Note Cafè). Also I’ve a wee photoshoot on Saturday afternoon with Galactic Carnival that I’m looking forward to immensely. I hope to be sharing loads more photos again very soon 😉

New friends, outfits and gigs oh my!

I have had a busy bunch of weeks since I last posted. Visitors to the web edition of my page will notice that I got the hang of ‘widgets’ and now my page looks a lot more interesting. Also, two more gigs under my girly belt! Of varying quality it has to be said. I’m speaking of my own performance of course – I can be pretty harsh on myself a lot of the time. The one I did a couple of weeks ago was superb. That was the one where I said the dress code was: Fierce. I panicked and dug out a little black dress for the occasion. Sadly I haven’t seen any pictures from the evening as the lady running the night is on holiday but I looked a little bit like this…

I had a whale of a time and was especially happy to be able to hang out with Talullah Belle and Gabriel Featherstone. A dancer and a surreal comedian respectively. Also on the bill were Innocence Bliss, a very lovely lady indeed with a cracking sense of humour, the band Reality TV, who were a nice bunch of chaps and their fanbase were very kind towards us too. I found out afterwards that I’d missed a photo opportunity with the ladies in their entourage as I’d got changed back too hastily. It was ran by a lady called Yasmin who was really lovely too and compered by a drag artist called Diana Fire. Things got quite tense during a part of her act when she produced a knife and cut her tights off…also slicing into her shin. Twas a fierce looking wound to be sure. We were assured once some whisky was doused on it and it was bandaged up it’d be fine but I’m still not convinced.

After the gig Talullah was able to put me in touch with a lady who runs nights in the bar she works in. A rock bar in Partick called Rockus. I’ll be appearing there on Wednesday the 14th of September so I’m really looking forward to that too. I seen Gabriel again on Thursday last as I was appearing at his cabaret night in The Blue Chair called ‘The Boiling Dolphin Cabaret’. That was a good night too but I don’t know if I was on top form or not. I only did songs eschewing poetry as I wasn’t in the mood. I wore my trusty polka dot dress that I’ve had for a couple of years now. I felt dead pretty in it! As there is only one toilet there I had to get changed in work again but I’m cool with that now, I’m starting to enjoy it. I had my first ‘windy dress’ incident on the way to the station which made me giddy for a short while after. Arriving well before everyone else I had the chance to relax and have a meal. There weren’t many other people there so I wasn’t hassled and was able to converse with the owner. A Tasmanian lady called Lorelle – she was a formidable person indeed. Her brownies were outstanding!

I shared a stage with Amelia Bayler and Donald Henderson, 2 very funny comedians. I was taken with Amelia in particular, such confidence. Also there was a close-up magician and mentalist called Paul M Distefano. He was amazing! Amusingly one of the people he chose to do a trick on turned out to also be a magician (apparently they didn’t know each other). The gig was sparsely attended but I’ve come to enjoy those ones more. The intimacy is brilliant fun plus no one can hide or talk haha! 😄 (or eat nachos).

Outfits have been on my mind recently too. I needed some new ones and as well as purchasing some nice dresses myself, a good friend of my wife passed a few onto me. Pictures will follow…oh yes.

These are two that I have purchased at charity shops over the last fortnight.

I’m very excited about the next three I’m showcasing! These are the donations from my wife’s friend. The one at the end is especially fabulous 🙂

Isn’t that peach one exciting? It’s got stage written all over it! Can’t wait to wear it out (once I’ve solved the VPL problem lol).

Hopefully I’ll have some more things to write about soon. Definitely enjoying bringing Anna to life in more social situations these days. There may be opportunities for nights out in the next couple of weeks. I won’t say anymore incase I jinx them!

Have a fab weekend everybody X

The Poet Ponders Her Next Move

Hello there! I do hope you are all well, I’m all sore from a gig last night. Not a poetry one sadly but a solo guitar and shoutin’ style gig. It’s been a busy old week rehearsing for that one so I’ve been more or less taking a break from the soul searching poetry nonsense. As I sort of hinted at in my last post regarding my Youtube channel, I did a special session last Friday where I filmed the remaining 7 poems that weren’t up so you can now view my full repertoire such as it is. It was a fun session and I really got into it as I haven’t really had much physical practice. It’s mostly all been going on in my head. A bottle of wine was consumed in the process helping me relax and fueling me to read all my remainder (I had only intended on reading my brand new one ‘Huff’).

 

 

Yesterday I also got to see the pictures my friend took. I look pretty awful in a couple of them but it’s because I’m in the zone mid sentence and so on. Also I really should have brushed my hair before I went on lol! So courtesy of GAK Photography here they are…

 

 

Next time I’ll probably wear a different wig! Not sure when that will be but I hope to arrange something before the summer. There are loads of spoken word nights in Glasgow so I’m also thinking of infiltrating one of them but the matter of where to change would present a minor problem 🙂 In the meantime I’m just going to hunker down and expand the secret poem book as best I can.

One of the other things I did was join Instagram last weekend. I’ve met some colourful characters on that I can tell you! I really had no idea that you could send messages over it and so far they are the most irritating aspect. I’ve had to do a whole lot of blocking and declining I can tell you. I can be found under annasecretpoet – what else I guess?

Lastly I got a nice new camera during the week, a Canon DSLR. A rather complex beast but one I’m determined to master. Hopefully that means I can now provide high quality imagery in general from now on. The zoom is INCREDIBLE! I finally got to take a picture of the moon the other night and you can even make out the craters on it…

 

I must fly now as it is nearly lunchtime and a mighty hunger has descended upon us!

Take it easy xxx

Sunday Quickie

This post is simply here to say
I hope you have a smashing day,
I’m sitting with a glass of white
A perfect way to end the night!

Black Knee High Platform Boots

It’s funny how you always assume it’ll be ages until the next time you get to dress up and then all of a sudden several hours fall into your lap. Can you keep a secret? My work every year grants us a secret half day in the month of December exclusively for Christmas shopping purposes. It doesn’t get noted in official paperwork or even on the yearly planner in the office. I often wonder what other people do with theirs but I guess they must do something Christmassy, it is a decent opportunity for those who need to catch up with it. As it turns out my house was going to be empty between 2 and 8pm and these situations don’t require much thought for me. I was especially excited as it would be a chance to try out my new black knee high platform boots…

…and maybe make another purchase during my shopping trip. But alas I was a good (lady)boy and resisted the myriad temptations, in particular a black and white plaid skirt and a black chinese style blouse which I know in total would only have cost £6 but I do need to keep an eye on the old wardrobe. Some of it does need to go, I think.

I took my time getting ready. I like to pick choice garnents before getting made up but I’m assuming everyone does that. Believe it or not that’s a recent development. I picked out a thin grey jumper, a short stretchy black skirt and a black crochet dress that once belonged to my wife. I almost sold it on eBay a while back. It was only when I was taking the pictures of it I changed my mind and put it back in a drawer all safe and snug. I also chose to wear my favourite black hold ups. You won’t see the tops in the pictures but I know they’re there 😉

It was fun, the boots were brilliant. Certainly as high as I like it. Will need a bit of practice walking in them though to be fair. They were only £20 with an added £4.95 for postage and packing which doesn’t seem bad to me. With someone like myself they should last a while though as they’ll probably not leave the house or get worn very often.

New Green Dress(es)

Hello there! Hope you are all well 🙂

Things have been getting pretty busy for myself in recent weeks. We’re getting ready to move house and I seem to be having a gig explosion which means I’ve had to rehearse for them. I’m terrible at remembering lyrics but the potential audience’s unfamiliarity with my stuff could see me getting away with it. I also seem to be getting a lot of offers of musical collaboration but we’ll see what happens with them. With all this in mind I forewent a rehearsal on Tuesday to get all dolled up for the last time in this current house (hopefully I’ll get a chance at Halloween!).

I had some new purchases from a few weeks ago to finally experience in context, ie wig and full make-up. First off was this purple skirt which I got from 99p in a charity shop. Sadly the lighting doesn’t really show it properly. It was from Etam (remember them) so I guess that means it’s vintage now lol.

The second item I’m rather fond of, a rare example of me paying full price for something from Primark. It’s an adorable green plaid dress with a peter pan collar and zip detail.

The last one I enjoyed the most, it was only £2.75 from a charity shop. I paid an extra £1.50 for an emerald stone necklace but frustratingly can’t seem to unentangle it. I needn’t have bothered as it looks fine without it. I took quite a few pics with this so….here we go!

This could definitely be the dress I wear if I have another night out any time soon. Hell this could be the impetus for one!

Before I packed it all away I decided to experiment with my corset and some hip pads to create the illusion of waist. It certainly looked and felt good but sadly doesn’t come across properly in the photos as the lighting got poorer.

Have a lovely weekend! I’ll be venturing into cupboards discovering long forgotten artefacts “oh look – it’s the sandwich toaster” etc…

X

An Unexpected Session

I had some well earned time off during the week and I got to do a whole bunch of fun family stuff. Days out (including the Edinburgh Festival), pottering around the house – that sort of thing. Probably one of the highlights was Tueaday when my wife said that once the kids were in bed I could dress up for a while and we’d watch something. There was a catch however…she would choose me an outfit and help me with my make-up. This should be interesting I thought so I began to look forward to it immensely. What would she put me in?

I had already pre-shaved while bathing the kids earlier so we did the make-up first. She gave me some tips on using my concealer – apparently I need a lighter one – and she gave me smoky eyes which is something I can’t do yet. For an outfit she picked out a couple of autumnal items, a burgandy top with lacey shoulders and neck and a purpley checked skirt. Sorry I have no pictures of that ensemble, I wasn’t really thinking about it at that point and was too shy to ask if she’d take a picture.

After catching up on some ‘Gotham’ we vegetated for a little longer and I inevitably craved an outfit change. I changed a couple of times, first into this tight stripey dress that I acquired recently.

Towards the end of the evening I changed into a new top I’d gotten at the weekend and a comfy tight black skirt. You can’t get a good view in this next pic but I guess you get the idea.

It’s a lovely little top, only cost a couple of pounds.

I had a nice pleasant evening in all, it felt comfortable too to be sharing this side a bit more with my wife. Hopefully she’s beginning to get a bit more comfortable with it as well, especially in light of recent revelations which did actually rock her a little. I do hope we do it again one time – no rush 🙂

If you want something visual (but not too abysmal)

Hello there!

After my very wordy last couple of posts I thought I’d share some pics from the weekend. I managed an evening and morning session which is always fun and also played about with a new photo editing app for some ‘post production’. Silly me only just discovering I can do this, correcting lighting, bringing up contrast etc. Here are some highlights…

This is a photo from a while back but has been improved ten fold.

I like this one as my favourite trick is to have focus on the face but blur the surroundings. I employed that trick elsewhere as well…

I do love that houndtooth top, sadly it requires a shaved chest to get away with it well so I can’t wear it all the time.

The denim skirt is my wife’s, she’s been toying with getting rid of it lately. I really liked it, I wouldn’t normally.

I was trying out a new wig with prominent bangs, still finding hairs from it into the week!

This is the last one, I sat down to watch a pirate copy* of ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ – from the Far East no less. Noticed loads of censoring during sex scenes, overall though a massive bore.

*no keelhauling or plank walking involved sadly 😦

Anna’s Alive!

So I survived intact after a night out as Anna. I’m not sure how to write about it but I do know I should keep it brief and vaguely interesting. I have read accounts of other people’s nights out and some have a tendency to overshare, delving into the minutae in excruciating detail.

This is how I looked after around 75 minutes of scrambling around in a work toilet…

I think having someone else with me helped a great deal, the only real terror came when exiting the toilet and stepping out the main door. It was so damned windy and my hair immediately went to pot. I met my friend and we walked to the train station. On the way I was read by a couple of passing girls who screeched with what I can only assume was glee “tranneeee!”. That did make me chuckle. From then on though I was oblivious to any other such attention. In fact I feel I should thank everyone I came into contact with that night for not batting their eyelids and treating me as normal. Basically I just had to go for it and interact with people and it paid off. Having never really given Anna’s voice any thought prior to this, I thought it best to just speak a bit softer without being over the top scaling octaves like a mad man. It seemed to work.

We only had between 6 and 10pm to work with so we went to 2 places. First we had food at a place called ‘The Living Room’ and it was really nice and friendly. The waitress impressed me no end by asking ‘us ladies’ if we wanted a drink while we waited. Whilst there I also got to visit the Ladies Bathroom which has always been a mysterious place for me. I fixed my hair and make-up and a couple of other girls were taking selfies.

The next venue was a bar in the Merchant City of Glasgow called ‘The Riding Room’. Now this is defintely a place I’ll return to, in fact me and my friend are discussing the possibilities of this. I’ll try not to get too excited just incase. This was my first opportunity to go to the bar and I think I did alright. The barman even called me darling. In fact my friend was certain he was checking me out! Whilst there my boobs came a little undone so I had to visit the bathroom again to fix them – damn! On the way back up the stairs (for the toilets were downstairs) a man held the door open for me and said “after you hen” which quickly became another highlight. It was indeed sad to leave, though it could have got awkward as the place started to fill up with people and a couple of them I actually knew from the gig circuit. I curse myself now for not going over to say hello as they are arty types who would probably have appreciated the effort that went into such a transformation. Well that’s what I’m telling myself 😉

Back to the station we trudged. I got my man bag from Left Luggage and we popped to the toilets so I could change. Funnily enough I got shouted at while I was at the mirrors by an attendant. “You’re not supposed to be in here” he said, but I assured him I was a woman 5 minutes ago and he didn’t have a problem then!

I had the luxury of an empty house when I got home so I decided to make the most of it and got dressed again (what am I like?).

Really glad I went out and I can’t wait to do it all again and hopefully with a bigger crowd (and for longer). I feel so blessed that I have great friends that are more than happy to go along with my tranny tendencies, I wish everyone had that.

See me shiver with antici……pation

I am filled with inexpressable joy. It turns out that I have a chance to dress again really soon. Must have been a month or two since the last time – so long I can’t remember exactly when. What I do remember is that it was only for a couple of hours one evening. This next dress date promises an empty house for just under 24 hours. A rarity indeed! As a result I have a half day booked off work and even plan to celebrate with the now annual event of removing the leg hair as well as the chest hair (low cut tops here I come). I’ve also found myself quietly planning outfits – I have some new ones you see. Some tops and a skirt from a ‘Christmas shopping trip’ I made with a friend from work. Recently I have also come into possession of a couple of dresses from one of my wife’s friends.They are both size 16’s so they are too big for my wife and there is something appealing about them I can’t explain. I wouldn’t have purchased them if I’d seen them in a shop but then I probably miss a lot when I’m browsing. I’m still a nervous soul deep down and my shopping style is perhaps a little furtive at times. The other reason that I’m pre-planning is that I would like to try having another little clearout. I know I have some things that still aren’t part of a definitive outfit so they have to go. Of course I’m saying that now but there are some things like a few of my skirts that I keep saying I’ll get rid of but don’t because I really like them regardless.

  

These days I have been selling my unwanted stuff on eBay so it means I can get a bit of cash from things like dresses, tops and even a couple of my old wigs. Though I mainly sell non-girly things like CDs, DVDs, books – I even sold a clock recently. I admit I can’t often find it in my heart to be ruthless when it comes to clothes and shoes. Even with ones that are holey and busted. Some of the band t-shirts I’ve kept hold of down through the years are in an unspeakably abominable state. Shoes as well, ones that are really worn down and holey – I tend to keep them for the summer months. The dry season.

Speaking of busted shoes and an extended dress date, both of these factors have previously met, or should I say collided in an unfortunate fashion. In January last year I’d treated myself to a pair of black knee high boots with a cuban heel. Finding decent cheap boots was tricky last year as my usual outlets had forsaken the heel. They were all selling perfectly decent boots but with no elevation. There needs to be a heel or I’m not interested. I managed to find a pair that met both standards of height and size (accomadating my biggish feet) for £10 in the sale at Primark. Trying them on at home, they fitted fine so I removed the tags and tossed the receipt. A week or so later when giving them their first proper outing, the zip on the right boot came apart in my hand. I was furious. That basically ruined my night though I sought to repair it as best I could. The wonder that is super glue eventually solved this problem. Luckily they both slip on alright without engaging the zip, especially when wearing hoes.

  

As well as planning outfits I also plan to just try and enjoy it while it lasts, even see if I can stay in character (such as it is) throughout – except when sleeping, that’s just silly! In the past I have managed around 6-8 hours in the evening on average. Sometimes there’s even a little overspill into the morning when I wake up. I’m looking forward to waking up with smooth legs. I only repeat it in the morning though if I know there’s time to do it and tidy up. Not that I’m really messy or anything you understand but just incase I’ve left something lying out. That’s a remnant of the past right there, a sign of my diligence. I was never caught out but came pretty close on a few occasions. I avoided it with stupendous luck that one time I became locked out. One other time I had left a box of my wife’s make-up out that I had been using. It was one that she didn’t really use much so she was confused as to why it was sitting on the bed. I hastily explained that I was tidying up under the bed and I had left it out to see if she still wanted it. She did want to keep them as it happens so back under the bed it went. In recent years such situations have more humourous potential. For instance, if I put any of Anna’s stuff in for a wash it can sometimes cause mild confusion. Black tights for instance did just that a few months ago. When we were sorting through all the dry washing separating it into bundles I noticed my tights (the only pair in the wash as it happens) going into my wife’s pile. I raised a polite objection and after a brief tete a tete she conceded I was right and we laughed about the absurdity of it.

I hope to post again soon and share any pics or stories from my dress date…providing of course they’re worth sharing