All day he sleeps
Anywhere except his bed
Bites you when you try
To pat him on the head
He’s a grumpy old sod
But loveable in his way
Except when it comes
To the end of the day
Into bed
Settle down with the wife
And that’s when he chooses
To spring to life
He demands attention
A carry on
But we’re too tired
And can’t take him on
He becomes unreasonable
His eyes become black
He squeaks and
Folds his ears back
He lashes out
Blood is spilled
We’d have rather he’d
Sat with us and chilled
Out he’s sent
Into the hall
Door firmly closed
He begins to yawl
Thundering up and down
The length of the flat
Such unearthly sounds
He continually spat
Then before we know it
The scrape in a tray
Lined with litter
No egg does he lay
But something abhorrant
With a powerful odour
The nightly present
From our dear friend Gozer
He knows what he’s doing
He’s not daft
You have to admire
How swiftly it wafts
Hold your nose
From this powerful stun
Humans nil
Gozer one