Tag Archives: drag poet

Status: Woe

‘Status: Woe’

 

My face hurts from smiling

My tongue hurts from lying

My eyes hurt from crying

My hands hurt from trying

 

My ears hurt from listening

My brain hurts from thinking

My liver hurts from drinking

My heart hurts from sinking

 

My feet hurt from running

My knees hurt from jerking

My soul hurts from working

My pride hurts from lurking

 

My conscience hurts from telling

My moods hurt from swinging

My throat hurts from singing

My nose hurts from minging…still, you’ve got to laugh!


 

Queer Theory Photos

This is a follow up to my last post as since then I very gladly received 15 high quality images from Dean Darkie Cargill of Black Doves fame from my last gig. Photos were taken by a friend of mine, a very talented chap called Martin J. Windebank. It’s rare for me to have photos of Anna taken by someone else and the fact that they are great images makes them even more special…

Then I switched to the guitar after the poetry as I often do…

I really love the one shot from below when I’m in motion. Cracking stuff! I also found myself lurking in a couple of other photos. This next one is me with my friend Deedee and her friend Emma…

That’s a blurry one of me laughing my head off at something. The blonde lady on the far right is Tom Harlow who put on a showstopping performance that night as his alter ego Harlow.

Some footage from my last Spangled gig has surfaced on Youtube also, courtesy of Jon the Hat. It’s basically footage of my 3 songs from that night; 13 Stone’a’luv, Bonus Sausage and Catch the Tiger. Here’s a handy link to view it xxx


Also excitingly it seems I’ll have 2 gigs before years end, a Christmas cabaret with The Creative Martyrs as well as the New Years comedy night I’m doing. I’ve also confirmed my first proper drag show appearance at the end of January. Dragopticon at the Brittania Panopticon, which is the oldest surviving music hall in the world. A very interesting historical place! Originally closed in 1938 but reopened in recent years still in the same state as when it closed, hermetically sealed. I’ve been meaning to go for ages so now I have a definitive excuse :).

Surprise gig joy!

As you all know I’ve become very busy of late! My inability to say ‘No’ is very strong indeed…except for a cabaret I was offered on the 2nd December which I had to turn down for practical reasons. I’m attending a wedding reception and my wife may very well kill me if I do the gig instead 😄.
This past Wednesday I was intending on attending Queer Theory again which I had last played in June. It was a fab night and I wanted to make sure I popped along again in an audience capacity as I’d missed a few crackers in the intervening montha. One of my friends Deedee was meant to be going too so I promised I’d meet her there. I advertised it as such on Facebook as I was looking forward to it. Most excited was I to then receive a message asking if I wished a little 10 minute slot as someone had pulled out! I managed to scrape a wee set together and had to make do with the decrepit guitar I usually leave in work but I set off in high spirits.

Compered by the highly irreverent Callum McLeod I shared the stage with some sensational folk again! A.Crow, (on top form, I’m a big fan of her words) Harlow (spectacular as always), Gabriel Featherstone (such a funny guy – I wish he did a full show one time), Black Doves (who were astonishingly brilliant this evening) and The Three Gentlemen (who were it seems from the future and a perfect way to end the evening).
A large number of photos were taken by a chap I know called Martin Windebank and I look forward to having a peek at those soon. I shall some when I get them – he has a fantastic eye so he does. I don’t get many ‘action’ shots but I’ve a feeling he’ll have captured some keepers.

Anna Bru

I’ve been working on this off and on for a couple of months now but finally finished it last week. Even found time to make a wee video for it too so that if you’d rather not read it you can watch it instead!

So here’s my tribute to Scotlands other national drink 🙂


‘Anna Bru’

Going to change my name to Anna Bru

The Secret Poet will no longer do

Such is my love for Irn Bru

– my downfall in a can,

I crave it in the morning after breaking my fast

Sometimes I think I glug it too fast

Besotted doesn’t cover it ya bass!

I’ll share it with no one,

Like nectar it’s sublime

It makes me love it more every time

Like an elegant but rusty sunrise

Dancing playfully on my tongue,

Glass bottle is best but it’s got to be freezing

The hit’s more intense is my reason

My poor teeth may disagree over time

And perhaps my belly will too,

It has to be ‘Barrs’ it must be said

None if this own brand shite instead

The one with the secret recipe

That only a few people know,

Sadly you no longer get your 30 pence back

So these days I stick to the multipacks

May the girders ever support my world

And maintain an exciting fizz!

Sarcastic Kiss

Let me take up paper and write of forests

Leafy memories of varied significance

The purged sanctuaries and sacred hollows

Naked and exposed,

Let me close my eyes to see it fully

Lips pursed in a sarcastic kiss

Instantly thoughts jostle for position

Drowning out the icy wind,

Let me make an error to fix a mistake

Regretting regrets is my new favourite passtime

For all the forward thinking I can muster

The backward pull is always stronger

Catch the Tiger

Titles are sometimes a problem for me these days, especially with wee peripheral posts like this. I’m afraid it’ll mainly be an excuse to show off some pictures I took before my gig last Wednesday at Brass Monkey. This was the relocated Rockus comedy gig which I sort of unofficially headlined in a fashion (believe or not I’m still a bit shy about being the centre of attention after all these years 😄).

I made a bit of effort with cinching and padding as I don’t offen wear figure hugging bodycon dresses. Hopefully it looks okay.

I took that particular picture just down from my work on the way to the station. I don’t have many outside photos and I think this one turned out okay!

When I arrived there the place was fairly empty so I bought a drink and got comfy. A young woman came over and asked if I’d mind her and her mother sitting at the next table. Of course I didn’t mind…and the evening began. They were great company – Stephanie and Patsy they were called. We talked about a lot of things (including make-up and Stephanie actually gave me a Mac Primer tester she had in her bag) but generally they were intrigued by me so I had to field various questions regarding what I was up to dressed like a woman in a city centre pub. I explained about the comedy night I was to be performing at and Stephanie persuaded her mum that they should stay for it. 

It was a wee shame as she did get rather drunk over the course of the evening even to extent of the bar staff refusing to serve her anymore. I blame the shots she kept buying us! Sadly she stormed out before I left and I never got to say a proper goodbye. Her mother had explained that they had just had some bad news regarding a close relative and that’s why she was partying so hard.

Eventually I was joined by my fellow performers – a cracking bunch indeed! It was great to hang out with Daniel Drever again as I feel I’ve found a kindred spirit and possible future collaborator. Compere and event organiser Gillian also announced her pregnancy which was lovely news indeed for her and her partner. I seem to also remember we all sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to a chap named Kelvin who is one of Glasgow’s longest serving gig promoters. I myself have had gigs off him many times in my formative years. Amusingly he didn’t recognise me when I briefly spoke to him!

Also on the bill along with Daniel and myself were Christopher Scott, Natalie Sweeney Potter and Charlene Petersen. A most talented and amusing bunch indeed. I think I’m  appearing with Natalie again in November so I’m looking forward to that. This was also the first gig I was able to distribute copies of my CD ‘Vowel Movements’ at. I’ve been left with only a handful so I need to make more for next week when I appear at The Blue Chair again.

Now to the title, ‘Catch the Tiger’. This is the name of my latest composition which I’m learning so I can start putting it in the set asap. Having had some slight creative drought of late I happily seem to be experiencing some ‘idea rain’ if you catch my drift. I’ve completed a couple of songs this past week which is encouraging by my standards. One of them is (hopefully) amusing enough to enter Anna’s set. It’s a song about seizing the day and doing it for yourself but as ever seen through my slightly askew perspective. I recorded a version of it on Friday so I may try and share it at some point soon 😉

I can’t breakaway!

This is just a wee post to share some footage from the Rio Café gig I did some weeks ago. I knew someone was filming but didn’t expect to see the results any time soon.

The entirety of my performance of the Big Pig song ‘Breakaway’ is now available on Youtube for you viewing displeasure. If the title and band doesn’t sound familiar then know of it as the song from the beginning of ‘Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure’…which is also the closing track on my new album (hint hint).

For anyone who may have missed it here is also a gateway to the aforementioned album…

https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=652853821/size=large/bgcol=ffffff/linkcol=0687f5/tracklist=false/transparent=true/

Many thanks to Jon the Hat for filming, editing and ultimately putting it out there! He’s a cool guy who also makes his own instruments, here’s a link to his website http://www.haufcut.com/?m=1